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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23836009">SWEET LITTLE THING [Haikyuu!! Various]</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/weewooweowo/pseuds/weewooweowo'>weewooweowo</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, M/M, probs add characters as i go on, umm request some characters and ill give it a try</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 18:20:45</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>28,707</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23836009</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/weewooweowo/pseuds/weewooweowo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>hello! just wanted to write something for these beautiful haikyuu boys, so here i am! i've got the list of characters up above, so if u see someone you would rly like me to write about not listed, then go ahead and shoot me a comment!</p><p>this is also on wattpad ! it's by the username @ weewooweowo</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Akaashi Keiji/Reader, Azumane Asahi/Reader, Bokuto Koutarou/Reader, Hinata Shouyou/Reader, Iwaizumi Hajime/Reader, Kageyama Tobio/Reader, Kozume Kenma/Reader, Kuroo Tetsurou/Reader, Nishinoya Yuu/Reader, Oikawa Tooru/Reader, Sawamura Daichi/Reader, Sugawara Koushi/Reader, Suna Rintarou/Reader, Tsukishima Kei/Reader, Ukai Keishin/Reader, Ushijima Wakatoshi/Reader, Yaku Morisuke/Reader, Yamaguchi Tadashi/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>312</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. hinata shōyō— "you be you and i'll be me."</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>okay so first up is hinata! hope y'all enjoy</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He was tired of it.</p>
<p>For as long as he's been alive, his appearance and attitude towards the world has always been questioned. He's too childish, too loud, too short, too bright.  Nothing is ever right with him, is it? He tries, that's for sure, but is it ever enough? Turns out, it's not. This was the last straw.</p>
<p>"I just can't be with you anymore Hinata, you're too excited for everything and it's starting to get weird... It feels like you want this more than I do, and I don't know how to feel about that. I think it's best that we just stop seeing each other."</p>
<p>"... Okay."</p>
<p>What did he have to do to be good enough. It was always him. Nothing was ever wrong with anyone else, it was always him. Couldn't play volleyball because he wasn't tall enough, couldn't get an A because he wasn't smart enough, and now... can't get a girlfriend because he's isn't calm enough. But that's okay. He was also too busy and too active and too cute, so this was normal. But boy, did it hurt. Like opening a fresh wound, he could feel the insecurities sink deeper and deeper into his heart, pushing him to the edge. He could hear the voices getting louder in his head, whispering those sharp words like they were sweet nothings</p>
<p>
  <em>"Nothing you ever do is right."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"It's always going to end this way."</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"You'll never be good enough."</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"There's nothing you can do to ever change yourself."</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"You're destined to be this way, and you'll stay this way until you die."</em>
</p>
<p>He didn't notice that he was alone until he felt the tear drip down his cheek. He felt his bag drop, hanging on his hand. Somehow he managed to push away these type of emotions, so why did they cut so deep this time? Was he really that desperate for someone to love him that he put his all into that girl? He didn't remember the last time that someone gave him that much attention, almost like he was close to being enough. Of course, that's over now, there's not much he can do now.</p>
<p>And so, he gave in.</p>
<p>Tears flowing freely, he let himself cry. The least he could do for himself. He knew deep down that no matter how much he looked there would never be a solution; he was stuck as himself, and there was no way of getting out of it. So, he sobbed in the hallway, not caring if anyone saw him. He was hurting, and he had every right to be: he just got fucking broken up with. Her soft words and sheepish smiles crumbled in his mind now, knowing that there would be no more of that for a while. She seemed like the one, but alas, life just loves to deprive him of the things he loves the most. It didn't make sense, why did he have to try so hard for the things he couldn't reach? They were too far out of reach, how is it that he always thought that he could finally get it? It seemed hopeless now that he thought of it, but even then, he knew that there would be another rock bottom in the future. He knew he would be broken up with again. Nothing could stop the fate that had sealed his love life in a locked box, sent out to seas to sink further and further into nothingness.</p>
<p>Maybe this was good. Maybe this was the answer to all of his problems. This was the universe saying that he shouldn't even try to have a relationship: maybe that wasn't what he was meant to have!... In that case, wouldn't that mean the same for volleyball? He was never able to play until now. All his life it was something that was never meant for him, like a forbidden fruit that would punish him for even trying to get near it. If he was never meant to play volleyball, then why did he? Was this life punishing him for doing what he shouldn't? But he loved—</p>
<p>"Hey Hinata, are you okay? Why are you on the floor?" Her skirt laid gently on her legs as she leaned down, tilting her head at the boy sitting on the floor. Her bright (e/c) eyes were gleaming with worry, looking teary, almost as though the thought of him being upset made her want to join him. She reached for his hand, cupping it in hers like she would a warm mug: her attention was on him at this moment, nothing else.</p>
<p>"U-Um yeah, I just got something in my eye and—"</p>
<p>"I know you broke up with Saiko," He looked down again, wondering whether she had seen everything unravel and just felt sorry for him. When he looked back up, he was met with her loving smile. Like a gentle caress, he felt warm. It was like her presence brought serenity: a sweet, sweet wonder that made him think there was some hope for him. Maybe you were different, "I heard some of the things she said about you, but I don't think it's true.</p>
<p>"You're a kind, loud, and loving guy, and any girl who doesn't see how <em>good</em> you are is blind. You're a shining boy, and you shouldn't need to change that! I think that anyone who can decide what you lack is just ignoring the fact that no one is perfect. You can't be too energetic or too extreme: you're you, and that's okay."</p>
<p>And suddenly, it was true. His heart leapt in his chest, the feeling of having her so close was mesmerizing and terrifying at the same time. A fire lit up inside him at that moment, bringing prosperity and light that had come back just as quickly as it had left. He knew: she was the one. He would give himself to her, show her every little bit of him because god damnit, she was was too bright to ignore. He knew he was getting into this too quickly, but he didn't care, the thought of having someone so loving and so giving by his side was too good to abandon. Sure, knowing her name would be nice, but that would be an added bonus.</p>
<p>"Come on Hinata, let's go get something from the vending machine," pulling him to his feet, she took his hand in hers and walked him around the building. His heart felt like it was exploding, her simple touch just a reminder that there's hope for him. Was he moving into this fast? Yes. Did he mind it? Absolutely not. What did he have to lose? Her cute smile and encouraging words were all he needed in order to know what he wanted, and nothing was going to change that, "you know, I've always wanted to talk to you, but it always feels like you're too good for me... strange, right?</p>
<p>"It's like you're always one step ahead, and it's hard to keep up with you, but I'd be willing to make that effort." She giggled, sending shivers down his spine as they arrived at the vending machine. He felt dumbfounded: how is it that he could be better than someone? He's the one that feels small right now in your presence, so how could you think you're not good enough?</p>
<p>"People always think less of me because of the way I am, but with you, I think it really is true. You're so good... I couldn't ever compare to you." Her gasp threw him off, suddenly feeling like he had committed arson and was being arrested. She seemed hurt by his words, almost offended at the thought of having put himself down like that. If only she could read his mind, then she'd really be hurt.</p>
<p>"Don't say things like that, you're amazing! Of course there are some things that you're not going to be good at, but you're so great at so many other things! I've always admired the way you're so honest and unapologetic about life, it's like you have no fears or worries that can ever take you down... you're beautiful Hinata, you just can't see it," he felt a tear go down his cheek. He doesn't remember the last time someone except his mom had told him how good he is, and it really touched him to say the least. It filled him up, making him feel like he could take on the world. Like maybe he was good enough, "I want to show you. I want you to feel loved. You deserve to be appreciated, Hinata, and I hope you'll let me be the person who can bring you that happiness."</p>
<p>Well, now his heart really was hammering in his chest.</p>
<p>"B-But what should I do? How am I supposed to act? Is it okay for me to be so greedy? I don't want to ruin this too, it'd just be the nail in the coffin for me—" he felt her lips quickly touch his, a peck that could have lasted a lifetime. A feeling so delicate that it made him think he was made of glass.</p>
<p>"Don't be silly Hinata, <strong>you be you and i'll be me.</strong>"</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>just getting back into it, so they'll probably suck. hey, it's about progress, right?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. kuroo tetsurō— "i want you and only you."</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>alrighty, it's kuroo's turn!</p>
<p>also, i'm not rly writing these in any specific order so if you want to see something sooner then just ask! i'm just kinda writing them when i get an idea that could be good for their character :P</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>With your heart ablaze, you set out to do what feels like the impossible. Your mission today: get that giant fucking captain to notice you for a change. How would you do that? Who knew.</p>
<p>"What's wrong with me, Kenma? Am I not pretty enough, or is it because he wouldn't want to ruin the professional atmosphere of our team? What am I supposed to do, honestly, because it's getting annoying at this point and I'm just sick and tired of feeling friend-zoned all the time and I just want him to—"</p>
<p>"(y/n), I don't think you're the issue."</p>
<p>"Then what is?? I just want Kuroo to look at me like I look at him! Is that too much to ask?"</p>
<p>"Yes."</p>
<p>Huffing slightly, you look forward. That damn mammoth of a man was stretching and smirking at the reaction of one of the managers, not caring about the fact that you were seething in your seat. Honestly, why was it that he could act like this with the two other girls and not you? You were the one looking for it! It just made you want to beat that pretty little face of his to a pulp, knowing how affected you were by this whole ordeal.</p>
<p>"Listen (y/n), if you really want to get his attention, then I suggest you take his route," you turn to look at him, intrigued but slightly wary of what he has in store. It's not like you don't trust Kenma, but with how intelligent he could be it was kind of exhilaratingly terrifying to put your fate in his hands. That damn genius, always coming up with convenient ways to do things: last time he taught you how to open a popsicle in one step! He's too smart for his own good, "(y/n)?"</p>
<p>"Yeah?"</p>
<p>"You're spacing off again."</p>
<p>"Oh, sorry, what were you saying?"</p>
<p>He just sighed, "Well I was going to say that you could always give him something to look at. Not, like, exposing yourself, but more like show him that you don't care about what he makes you feel. He doesn't know how you feel, but you can make him think that you know how he feels."</p>
<p>As confusing as it sounds, you knew exactly what he was getting at. A whole 'make-the-guy-jealous-and-get-him-to-finally-be-with-you' type of scheme, not bad Kenma. Sounds like he watches quite a bit of k-dramas on his free time, but you wouldn't judge. It seemed like the perfect way to take out your frustration too, but knowing that literally everyone knew how you felt about Kuroo (except for him?), you wonder who would give you the effect that you wanted.</p>
<p>"Hey Kenma, (y/n), you guys taking a break? Mind if I join?" Inuoka sat right between the two of you, smiling down at you and taking a drink from his water bottle. Funny how blessings fall from the sky like that. Quite frankly, it was like everything was set up to go your way. Almost as though someone had set this all up.</p>
<p>"Of course Inuoka, I'd love to have you around <em>all</em> the time! Jeez, you're so amazing, you know that? I love to watch your spikes, they always <strong>fill me up with happiness!</strong>" You smile up at him, making sure that your words are loud and clear. Kenma just looked to his side, slightly smiling at your cleverness even if he was the one to make this whole thing up. He, of course, would be oblivious to your intentions, taking everything you say as simple, friendly appreciation rather than with the intent you had. </p>
<p>"Aw (y/n), you're so sweet! I love the way you're always so positive, it makes me feel like I can do anything!" This was so amazing: you didn't even have to tell him anything for him to play along! He wrapped his arm around your shoulder, hugging you close to him and talking to Kenma about whatever it is that he wanted to try this time. Leaning on him, you look over to see Kuroo quickly looking away. How perfect, you'd have to thank Kenma later. Maybe buy him a new game? He'd probably enjoy it more than some pork buns or a juice box.</p>
<p>He held you like that until Kuroo yelled to get everyone back into it. He was definitely not okay. Whatever Kenma had told you to do was horrible: he was supposed to help <strong>him</strong>, not you! Things were supposed to build up between you two and end in a romantic scene under the rain, not like this. He made sure to work Kenma the hardest this time, knowing he had sabotaged his whole plans. Now how would he marry you and have twenty cats and spoil your guys' grandchildren until death did you part? </p>
<p>"Alright, now get in your groups so we can start our game!" Worst of all, you were really doing some damage. The way your eyes trailed Inuoka as he got ready to serve, sultry and with intensity, he couldn't help the frown that came to his face. You were too good to be true, a plethora of emotions resonating inside him at just the look at you. As lovely as you were, right now he couldn't stand what you were doing. Of all people, why Inuoka? What did he have that he didn't?! He's the captain, after all! He's the one that should be getting your attention, not that airhead.</p>
<p>"Go Inuoka, you're doing amazing!" Just like that, his mind was whirling with anger and distress at your words; distress because at this point he didn't know if you were messing with him or not. Your words seemed so genuine, and as much as he'd hate to admit, Inuoka is a really great dude, so of course you would choose him over himself. Maybe he should just give up and let you be happy, that way he won't be hurting as much as he—</p>
<p>If there was a noise that could describe this moment, it would be <em>splat</em>. All he could recall was the smack of the ball on his face, hitting him at full force and almost taking the breath out of him. He could see the blood stain on his hands, bright red and screaming at him to plug up his nose. He saw your hands, immediately grabbing at his face and lifting it up to your worried eyes: yeah, now the pain was worth it. Your hands now reaching for his, you lift him to his feet, pulling him along through the worried crowd of the team, and heading towards the bathroom. It's strange how things can escalate so quickly: he was so worried about everything with you, and in one second he was on the floor, grabbing his nose and listening to the string of apologies from the sunny first year. As much as he would have liked to take out his anger at the moment, your touch was enough to bring him back to reality. You were finally giving him the attention he craved; maybe this was meant to be.</p>
<p>"Kuroo, what happened? You're usually so good at blocking, I wouldn't have thought it would be you I'm patching up! Now hold your head still," you sat him on a chair, taking a wet towel and wiping him up where you saw fit. If you weren't as worried as you were, you'd be basking in the expression he had right now: his feline eyes staring you down as you worked your magic, all vulnerable and at your disposal. Well, sadly, that wasn't the case and your anxious thoughts were eating away at you to the point where you could cry out of fear of his well being, "do you feel dizzy at all? Would water help, or maybe an ice pack?"</p>
<p>"I-I'm okay, just in a bit of pain," his eyes drifted from yours and back down at the spot in the floor he was so entranced by. He didn't want to make things uncomfortable: honestly, he wanted to pull a move so bad, but his chest felt so tight it was almost like he couldn't breathe, "I don't want to cause you any trouble, if you want I can just hold the paper towel myself so you can go watch the game again."</p>
<p>"What are you talking about?! You're bleeding from your nose, how am I going to go watch a practice match without dying of worry?"</p>
<p>"I just don't want to get between you and Inuoka, seems like you two have something," fun, he didn't mean to sound <strong>that</strong> butt-hurt. He also didn't mean to hurt your feelings this much; your eyes immediately looked guilty, like you were seconds from crying. Shit. Why did he have to be such a jerk sometimes? Gripping your free hand in his, he looked up at you to see such a cute, pouty expression on your face. How were you so cute all the time, "it's just... I know how you feel about him, and I know how I feel about you. I don't want to intrude, and if I stay this close to you I feel like I'll make a stupid decision."</p>
<p>This escalated quickly. The blush on your cheeks was definitely noticeable, even with the slightly dim lighting of the bathroom. You didn't think it'd all be moving so fast, but hey, better now than never, right?</p>
<p>"How do you know it'll be a stupid decision?" His eyes immediately drooped, expecting some type of rejection at his abruptness, but suddenly everything seemed so bright. He looked up, your eyes filled with challenge and your mouth inched up in a grin. He was just straightening up to pull his move when your lips crashed into his, taking him in with your hands in his messy hair. All he could do was pull you in closer, wanting to feel you pressed against him; his only source of warmth in his blizzard of a life. Your touch from his hair to his neck lit up a fire in him, so bright and hot it felt like he would get heatstroke if it weren't for the cold of the chair touching the bare skin of his legs every so often, waking him up from the Sahara that you are to him.</p>
<p>This would be fun and all if it weren't for the fact that he was still profusely bleeding from his nose. The taste of warm metal in your mouth immediately brought you back to reality, engulfing you in worry again as you picked up the wet towel and pressed it against his nostril. All he could do was laugh, feeling stupid but so fucking grateful that you were so unapologetically you. Even so, one thing was still on his mind. </p>
<p>"Sooo you don't like Inuoka?" Yeah, that high you were feeling from finally having kissed this dork really did plummet. If you didn't like him so much you would slap him, but alas, this dork was <em>your</em> dork, so there was no way that you would let him get hurt.</p>
<p>"I thought it was pretty obvious that I like you, you dummy," his cheeks lit up, feeling embarrassed at the fact that he was so stupid. After all that you had done to show him you liked <strong>him</strong>, he still felt some need to clear the worries out of his mind. You were fantastic, after all, so anyone would want to steal you away. Almost like hearing his thoughts, you grabbed his cheeks and pulled him in for a quick peck.</p>
<p>"<strong>I want you and only you</strong>, Kuroo, so don't worry so much you oversized cat."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>thx for reading, don't know if i'll keep updating this frequently, but i'll definitely try!</p>
<p>i decided to do this chapter as a reader-insert and a first person perspective, but tell me if last chapter's style was better! (i had some fun writing this, but also let me know if you like more mature topics rather than these cute ones)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. akaashi keiji— "you're always on my mind."</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>still going strong! don't know how long this'll last, but here's an akaashi chapter!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Fuck."</p>
<p>Like a silhouette spread across the warm pavement of a summer evening, there you were; consuming his every thought and doing it gracefully. He didn't even have to try: looking at anything for too long could remind him of you. Like those daisies he saw around the gym's entrance, those things were weeds considering where they were growing, but all he could think about is how you had brought some in to class and given them to all your friends. As a matter of fact, he still had his, keeping it because it reminded him of your adorable grin as you tucked it behind his ear. If anyone else would have done that he would have probably smacked them, but you... you were the only exception.</p>
<p>Nothing in particular made you special. You were pretty average, to say the least, but maybe that's what brought him to you. The way you managed to light up a stressful day, or how you made sure to quiet down others around you so he wouldn't get annoyed were just a few things that could have lit that spark in him. It was always you who would be there for everyone, giving them your presence and happiness generously. Your very being was made to give, and unlike so many, you never seemed annoyed or angry at the fact that people just came and went freely to you. As unfair as it seemed to him, you were okay, seemingly grateful for the fact that you could be in someone's life. You were a cute little daisy, swaying in the wind, gentle and simple, yet pure and perfect. </p>
<p>"Hey Hey Hey Akaashi, ready for our practice match today?! I'm so gonna beat Kuroo again, and this time I won't let him get me with those damn blocks of his! Who cares if he's my bro, I'll still show him who's boss," snapping him out of his daze, he looks over to the oh-so loud Bokuto, already feeling bored. He just wanted to go home and go to bed, but even then he knew he'd see you in his dreams. It kind of sucked to be in this deep, but at the same time he was grateful: at least it was you, "Akaaaaashi why aren't you paying attention to me? Come on, throw me a set so I can get warmed up before that damn cat comes around!"</p>
<p>"Get Shuichi to set one for you," he picked up his water bottle, bouncing the ball in his hands towards the now aghast Bokuto, "he needs the practice if he wants to be a setter."</p>
<p>"But Akaashi, you're the one who's gonna be in the practice match! How am I supposed to know that I'm gonna do good if I don't get my <em>swooshes</em> in!"</p>
<p>"You'll be fine," he always had to pick that guy up, didn't he, "you're the ace, after all." As he turned to walk out of the gym, he could almost hear the glittering sound of his confidence.</p>
<p>"Hey Hey Hey! I'm just that good!"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The fresh breeze of spring always gave him a sense of peace. There was nothing like laying in the grass and breathing for once: his life was beautiful chaos sometimes, and he really needed times like these to be with himself. Just him, the wind, and those footsteps that came closer and closer—</p>
<p>"I'll go down to the gym once Nekoma is here."</p>
<p>"Well that's always nice to know." He opened his eyes so quickly at the sound of your sweet voice. There you were, standing above him with your eyes as inviting as ever. The way the sun highlighted your soft features could have made him cry if he were a more emotional person, feeling as though an angel had just graced him with their presence. As over exaggerated as his words were, he didn't know how else to describe the emotions moving through his body at the look of you.</p>
<p>"Sorry, it's just my teammate. He's always looking for me and I don't feel like dealing with him."</p>
<p>"Fair enough," you shifted on your feet in an uncharacteristic way, slightly worrying him, "could I sit with you?" All he could do was nod, putting him in a state he couldn't remember the last time he was in. Your closeness was euphoric, it was consuming his entire being and leaving him speechless. The way you sat, legs crossed, pulling a piece of grass between your fingers and smiling at the ground made him think that time had stopped. The breath he wanted so badly caught in his throat, making him believe that it was only you and him at that moment. His heart ached, wanting you closer, <strong>needing</strong> you against his chest, basking in the tender heat of spring that just resonated in you. If he were in any other situation, he would have already spoken his mind: he would have whispered in your ear all those sweet nothings floating in his head, and made it clear how <em>beautiful</em> you are to him. </p>
<p>"So," he started, not sure about the tone he should be using when talking so intimately with you, "what brought you over here?"</p>
<p>"Oh! I was just...," it caught you off guard, really, to think that Akaashi, or anyone for that matter, would want to know about you. The thought of someone caring was so distant at this point that it almost felt like you could break. Somehow, though, rather than feeling the need to hide, you felt liberated in his presence, like you could tell him anything, "trying to catch a break from my friends. One of them is having a bit of an issue with her family, and the other doesn't know what to do about his girlfriend's cheating... as much as I love being there for them, I just don't feel like it, you know?"</p>
<p>"Yeah, I get that. I have that issue all the time with Bokuto, and it's not fun, especially when he starts getting all depressed about his spikes," you giggled, feeling a teeny weight off your shoulders. He was so different from the others: refreshing and delicate, like a juicy peach in a sunny, fall day. He brought you away from the real world and made it vanish into thin air, bringing you to simpler times. Yeah... a soft, plush peach.</p>
<p>"Even so, it must be tough to deal with the issues of others all the time. Do you ever give yourself time to reflect?" Your breath caught in your throat, the stress of life returning and hitting you especially hard. It had been why you had escaped from your friends, muttering apologies as you ran out of your club room in search of an oasis. Sometimes it just pushed the line, and as much as you loved your friends, there was a limit to how much you could take.</p>
<p>"No, I never do. I just wish that someone would listen to me sometimes, you know? I-It feels like you're all alone in this world sometimes, and knowing how that feels I wouldn't wish it on anyone! I know it's super selfish of me, but all I want is to feel like someone cares about what I feel... like I matter more than being a pair of ears ready to hear someone out... ready to take them out of their torturous reality," the pain in your voice at your admission could have brought down the toughest of people, almost as though you had been torn up to shreds. He didn't know what to do at the sight of your tears, almost flailing his arms because he couldn't decide whether to hug you, rub your back, or put a hand on your shoulder. He had never been in a position as intimate as this, what was he supposed to do, pull you in and tell you that he would protect you? That, at least, brought you some type of happiness, your laugh still strained but bright as ever.</p>
<p>"S-Sorry, I don't know what to do."</p>
<p>"It's okay, you've already done so much for me," his worries gone, he looks to you questioningly, "you listened."</p>
<p>His heart could have beat out of his chest at this point and it would have been a normal thing. The way you were looking at him made him feel like the only person in the world, bringing him a sense of completion at making you notice him like that. With his body moving on his own, he brought you in, hugging you to his chest and letting you take it out like that. All the stresses of being a friend, a student, a <em>teen</em> were coming out in waves, shaking you at the prospect that all of this had been stored up for so long. The agony of being the strong one; the overwhelming need to be the light in everyone's day felt like it was taking its consequential toll on you, but in Akaashi's arms it all felt manageable. It was as though everything was going to be okay for once. like you could make it through this alive if it meant feeling this close to him. With this, you couldn't help yourself: the selfish need to have him to yourself overcame you, making you take him in your hands and kiss him. The sweetness of his peachy lips only made you want to mewl, feeling so close and wanted and just so <strong>alive</strong>, it was a miracle that you didn't push him down on the grass and hold him tight. As much as you were enjoying this, he was definitely on cloud nine: the fresh, floral scent of your being bringing him into a trance. The gentle daisy of your aura brought him closer, wanting more of you every second that passed. His spring, <em>his life</em>.</p>
<p>As you two pulled away, you couldn't help the tear that dropped down your face, finally feeling like you were okay. Caressing his face, you felt him lean into your hand, loving every bit of your soft petal touch. All he wanted was to be near you, have you, <em>be with you</em>. His eyes were set on the prize, knowing and not caring about what was ahead of him: as long as you were at the end of the tunnel.</p>
<p>"What are you thinking about Akaashi?"</p>
<p>"You, of course," with a smile on his lips, he touched his hand with the one against his cheek, "<strong>you're always on my mind.</strong>"</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>okay! phew, it feels so pressuring every time i write a new chapter, i just want y'all to like it :')</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. nishinoya yū— "nothing like you."</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>sorry i didn't update sooner, I actually had to write my research paper this time :( but it's here, and now i'll get back to work</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Well what do we have here?"</p>
<p>"Shut up dude, you don't know what you're getting into, that's the person who gave Sousuke bad luck!"</p>
<p>"Wait what? What do mean bad luck?"</p>
<p>"It's like they're a demon or something, but from what I know, if you make eye contact with them for too long then something bad will happen to you right after. Sousuke asked for a pencil and he said that the next day he failed his test!"</p>
<p>"Let's get out of here, I don't wanna be next!" Hearing yelling, you turned around, worried about whoever was hurt. When you did, there was no one. Huh, strange. Maybe you needed some more sleep... that was way too much noise to not be real. Packing up your bag, you quickly pushed in the chairs that were sprawled around and went to wipe down the board. Written big and for everyone to see was, 'stay away you scary witch!' It was okay, though, because you knew that they didn't know any better. Although the rumors weren't true, you tried to not do the things they disliked; talking, looking them in the eyes, and closeness were all given up in hopes that they would feel more comfortable, but you knew deep down that it would never be good enough. Hey, as long as you were around they would never feel truly safe.</p>
<p>"Well, if they feel happy then I feel happy...!" You cleaned up the writing on the board, smiling to yourself and pulling on your bag. There were a lot of things you wanted to do, but responsibilities always came first. After all, it was up to you to make sure the garden and the school was in top shape by spring time. You were part of the gardening club, and being the only member meant that you had quite a bit of work to do. Besides, helping the school look clean and fresh would make everyone feel more happy to go there. With a kick to your step, you made your way down the stairs, humming to yourself as you passed by a group of friends probably ready to head into town.</p>
<p>Friends.</p>
<p>It had been a while since you truly had a friend, most of them had just spoken to you for a week and then left because it was a dare of some sort. It was nice to have their company during that time, though, of course, you would have liked it to last longer. Either way, it was kind of them to think about you at all. The kindness in their heart to want to show you something as nice as friendship is beautiful, it made your heart melt just thinking about it.</p>
<p>Pulling on your gloves, you start your picking. While for the most part the flowers at the front of the school were taken care of by the gardener, you always made sure to water them from time to time, but today you needed to pick the weeds around some areas so that the gardener would be able to plant easily. And so you could start to plant some of your own flowers, but that was besides the point.</p>
<p>One by one, you made your way around the school, working in the slight sun of early March, and having fun. Weirdly, you really did enjoy doing chores, it was refreshing to know that you wouldn't have to do them later, and that you were one step closer to improving something as important as the school. With your bucket full, you dragged it along in a wagon, making your way to the gyms. Those were always surrounded in weeds! Since people were mostly focused on keeping the fields pretty, they always forgot the indoor sports gyms need some beautifying on the outside too. Rolling up your sleeves, you began at the edges of the undercover path, yanking as hard as you could at one weed especially.</p>
<p>"Why. is. it. so. difficult??" Feeling yourself slip, you braced yourself for the impact of the cold, rough concrete, but what you were met with was the opposite. Soft, pillowy, <em>warm</em>. An embrace of heat, touching you deep down and bringing you to your feet. You turned, almost frozen in place at the kind eyes that met you: challenging you to say something, give him a reaction. It had been a while since you looked someone in the eyes so intimately, you had completely forgotten how beautiful they could be. The chocolate geniality of them made you want more; to know him inside out. To feel this close so someone again. Regardless, all you could do was heat up yourself, having never felt something like this. It was as though your whole life had been leading you up to this moment, pushing you to give, so that you would receive the highest of compensations. Frankly, you didn't want to move, and that seemed okay with him too. He didn't make a move to shift, only seemed to change color at the turn of your head. Finally feeling the need to, you spoke.</p>
<p>"Um, hi," Like a seal had been broken, he looked around, scooting backwards from the floor, away from you. Too far away. Even so, he didn't seem to want to back away any more, feeling content staying right there: sitting against the railings of the path towards the gym, "sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable, I'm really happy that you helped me just now."</p>
<p>He felt himself warm up again, having never heard your voice before. Of course, being a student in Karasuno, he had heard of your legend, but never did he expect for you to sound so <em>cute</em>. He imagined you to be creepy and weird, but seeing you sitting on the other side of the path, all he could hear was his pounding heart in his chest, suddenly getting eaten up by pure sweat. </p>
<p>"Uh, n-no problem...! I didn't move away because of the stuff people say about you, just so you know! I just, uh, don't want you to feel weird," tilting your head a little, you wondered what type of game he was pulling. Usually when it came to dares, most people would be friendly to you and try to be overly exaggerated with their actions. They would ask you to be their girlfriend, or go somewhere with them just to ditch you with either work or a framing of some sort to make you look like an evil witch. This was definitely... strange. People didn't just tell you that they weren't scared of you, rather, they made it extra obvious by the time that they were done with you.</p>
<p>"Well, what would you like me to do for you?" He jumped at that, feeling all weird at that question. What did you mean? Like a favor of some sort?! Everything that came to his mind at that were scenarios that he had played in his head; fantasies for rainy days that were suddenly plastered with your face. He sputtered, not knowing what to do. What do you do when someone actually gives you the time of day like this after you tried to pull a move??!</p>
<p>"From what I'm used to, we usually go down to the west hallway and there's some type of message written for me and someone who shoves me in the room and locks it. Is it like that? That way I know if I have time to clean this area up a little more."</p>
<p>"... Oh." All dirty thoughts went away at that, finally realizing what exactly you meant. Right. You weren't the most popular of people, and now that he thought of it, you were definitely quite outcasted throughout the school. Why though? It wasn't like you were doing anything to him, and if you were, you definitely weren't showing any anger or "evilness" towards him. All you were doing was smiling at him, looking at him with your benign eyes like he was all you wanted in life. It wasn't uncomfortable, definitely not; he felt special, like there was someone who saw him with value and worth instead of just a jokester that liked to mess around with his team's manager. Oh, right, practice. He should probably head back in there... or he could wait until someone brought him back to reality. </p>
<p>"N-No! I don't want to do anything bad to you, I just... saw you from inside the gym and you were gonna fall, so I just, kinda, ran for you. Not in a creepy way, though! I wasn't, like, staring at you, I just noticed you while we were playing, and when I looked back you were pulling really hard on that plant and— I-I think I'm rambling," he scratched the back of his head, smiling sheepishly at you, but all you could think about was how pretty he was. He was being so casual, so <em>calm</em>, it was like a new world to not have to worry about scaring someone. You couldn't take your eyes away from him; it was your once in a lifetime opportunity.</p>
<p>"It's okay, I don't mind," you rubbed your finger, suddenly feeling a wave of nervousness at the idea of his words, "I really appreciate your worry. You're a wonderful person for wanting to help someone in need."</p>
<p>"I-I," he was at a loss for words, it was alien to even hear a compliment his way, "I always see you when you come around, and when I saw you about to fall, I took it as a chance to finally talk to you. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I know that people tend to be really mean, but I didn't mean to make you feel like I was just gonna use you for sick kicks.</p>
<p>"From the outside, I'd say I'm <strong>nothing like you</strong>, but I think that we actually do have something in common: we're misunderstood. If you give me the chance... I-I'd like to be your friend," chest pounding, he held his hand out until he realized he was nowhere near you. Ugh, apart from being so uncool, he was also cursed to be awkward? Hearing a sniffle, he brought himself back, looking at you to see you crying. Crawling on his kneepads, he now kneeled in front of you, holding you by the shoulders, "u-um, did I say something wrong? I'm sorry, I can be really stupid sometimes." </p>
<p>"No! No, no, it's nothing bad, really," lifting your head, you look into his eyes, seeing the genuine care he has, only making you tear up even more. Friend, huh? He sure was one to pull your heartstrings, making you feel all warm and bubbly inside, "I'm just so happy."</p>
<p>As he felt the worry dissipate, he smiled at you, taking you in his arms and hugging you. It didn't matter about whether he was taking too many steps forward right now, all that mattered was how happy you were at the fact that he was giving you a chance. Maybe one day he would be able to tell you about how much you meant to him, seeing you every day being so kind and thoughtful even when the world was rotten, but for now, being your friend was enough.</p>
<p>And so, he held you.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>hey hey hey, thanks for reading! idk, i felt like this one was a little lazy, but i'll make sure to put in some more effort in the next one! i think i'm gonna write all the chapters i want for the individual characters, then i'll start taking requests, how does that sound? hope you enjoyed!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. tsukishima kei— "don't hold back anymore."</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>got a request for tsukki next, so here he is! for now, i think i'm gonna take initiative and do my own lil thing for the characters, but ask for a character and i shall write!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Pulling on your coat tighter, you made your way through the crowded entrance of the school. It was packed; everyone was putting their umbrellas away and changing out of their wet shoes. It had been raining for the past few days, normal for the fall, but still didn't change the fact that it definitely made the days gloomier. It felt like the days had been dragging by recently, and that was never good: you knew there was something up with you if you got up and, rather than seeing the excitement in the day, all you wanted to do was go back to bed.</p>
<p>It had been this way for the past week: everything like a routine, static, yet flowing. A conveyer belt carrying your dead weight around, dropping you off every few hours in a new place. Nothing really sparked as of now, and that sucked a lot. You had just bought some fun stationary and now it was gonna be for nothing because you couldn't even bring yourself to write. It was okay, though, because most of your friends could tell when you got this way. They always left you alone during this time, hoping that you would get through it and be back to your lively self again. It was strange to them, so they just ignored it when they could, but it was worrying sometimes when it would take you weeks to get back up. You had been fine recently because of <em>him</em>, but it wasn't like he was around now to get you going again.</p>
<p>No, because he was at a training camp. You had sent him off that day, told him to have a nice time, only to realize that you would basically be disabled while he was away. Funny how someone can become so dependent on another so easily; if it weren't for him, then you probably wouldn't be like this right now. Then again, you probably wouldn't even be here right now. Tough luck, now you had to deal with yourself while he hurried up and came back.</p>
<p>It wasn't like you wanted to keep him to yourself; far from it. You would tell him you were fine sometimes and hide for as long as you could until you would break, but only because he would pull you aside and finally confront you. Sometimes it was like you were just a bag of rocks to him, and as much as it would be better to just be a bag of rocks, you didn't want to hold him back. Nobody deserved that.</p>
<p>Putting your stuff down on your desk, you sat with your head in your hands, staring off into nothing. You wondered how long it would be until the teacher realized you weren't doing anything in class, wondered how long until they called up your house to say that you were in one of your <strong>moods</strong> again. It was always the same, where you would walk in to your house only to see your parents standing there with angry looks. They would question you about what was going on, saying that maybe you should start going on medication, but then reverting to how it was something you were doing to yourself. Whether it was your friends, food, or lack of exercise, who knew, but what you did know was that once you went to your room they would follow. They would hug you, saying that they love and care for you, and as much as you wish you could just hold them close, it was like your emotions were invisible. Gone.</p>
<p>Hearing a loud noise, you turned to look out the window, seeing a bus pull up to the front of the school. So, he was back. Hopefully you wouldn't have to face him today, you couldn't call to mind the last time you looked someone in the eye or spoke for that matter. That would definitely give you away.</p>
<p>As the day dragged on, you noticed no signs of the boys coming in to class. Usually Hinata would be bouncing around the hallways, happy as always, but there was no sign of them. Zilch. Nothing. Grabbing your stuff out of your locker, you couldn't help but want to pass around the gym, somewhat hoping for a look at the blonde. Hey, any type of hope at this point is good, you couldn't take that away from yourself. Walking out of the school and peeking at the gym, you saw no sign of him. The first years and two second years were practicing, but Tsukki was no where in sight. That's peachy. No choice but to just go home and sit around, all you could do at this point. Moving away from the gym, you made your way towards the exit only to be met with a surprise. There he was waiting for you; watching your every movement, <em>reading you</em>, making a conclusion in his head at just the sight of you. How did he always manage to do that? He always knew what you were going through with one look. Definitely not fair.</p>
<p>"Are you gonna say something, or are you gonna keep blocking my path."</p>
<p>"Sorry, I didn't know you had more important things to do today other than just lay in bed."</p>
<p>"Wow, sassy-shima's ready to make me the bad guy. How about you go antagonize someone else today, like Kageyama or something," his eyes never left yours, even if you were avoiding looking at him all together, "now if you'll excuse me, my <strong>bed</strong> is calling me."</p>
<p>Trying to walk past him, you were held by his hand on your wrist. There you were again, getting stuck in a life or death situation where all you would be experiencing is inner turmoil and sarcastic remarks that would bring you some type of entertainment. As much as you wished you didn't, you knew deep down that this was good for you: he was good for you. He knew you, and his stubbornness would not let him give up until you were finally back, walking with him with a grin on your face. Thoughts like those always made you want to cry; wish that you could be better for him. But no, you were cursed to be a fucking wet towel, another human. In a world full of endless potential, here you were; taking up space.</p>
<p>"Stop saying things to yourself in your head."</p>
<p>"For all you know I could be—"</p>
<p>"(y/n), I know you better than that. Now stop doing this to yourself and let yourself go for once," with that, he pulled you into his chest, the smell of him making your eyes close. It felt like home, "it's not like I'm some stranger, you know."</p>
<p>"I know."</p>
<p>"So then stop acting like I am. I'm here, and I'll be here," shifting on his feet slightly, you knew that he was really trying, "for as long as you need me."</p>
<p>"You bitch."</p>
<p>"Shut up." His arms wrapped around you tighter, his head now on your own. He didn't mean to be so weird about it, but all he wanted was for you to be okay. It had always been tough for him to put his feelings so out in the open, but ever since he met you he couldn't help the rush of sentiment and desire to keep you safe from overtaking him. It was pretty obvious that you had been dealing with something deeper since he had met you, but rather than wanting to bring others in to help, you kept people at a distance: wanting nothing more than to not be a burden.</p>
<p>It was embarrassing to you the first time that he found you so depressed; he had gone to your home to bring your school work only to find you laying in bed and staring at the ceiling. Your hair was all greasy, and you were in some baggy, old-looking sweats with a tank top. When you had turned to look at who came in, your eyes had widened and you immediately started crying: he imagined that you had never let someone see you as vulnerable as you were that day, but he didn't care. At that point, he knew what he had to do, and he wasn't going to let you go. You needed someone, needed to know that you were loved, and he was going to make sure you felt that way. Looking at himself, he never really imagined himself to be the type to be able to do the job, but having seen you at your worst, he felt a fire light up inside him. A <em>need</em> to be a part of your life. A love as strong as steel.</p>
<p>"I don't say this enough, and I'm sorry for that, but I want you to know that I love you," almost in a whisper, you wouldn't have caught it if it weren't for the fact that he was holding you so close to his chest, the rumble of his voice echoing in your empty mind, "I'm sorry that sometimes I'm not as good of a boyfriend as I should be. I don't try as much as I should, and that's pretty shitty of me—"</p>
<p>"It is."</p>
<p>"Gee, thanks for the reassurance," you chuckled into him, bringing him the utmost joy at your reaction. You were defrosting in his arms, slowly but surely, "As I was saying... I know I'm a shitty boyfriend sometimes, but I really do care. Everything that you are is important to me, and I want to be a part of all of it. Only if you let me, of course, but honestly I'd do anything for me to just be able to be by your side. If I'm a bitch, I'm <em>your</em> bitch... because I really do fucking love you."</p>
<p>Like a weight off your shoulders, all you could do was look up at the sky. Even with all the rain, it was so <strong>bright</strong>, illuminated by the sun. The clouds were drifting, making way for the sun; changing. Nothing was forever. Everything changed. Even your stupid fucking piece of shit brain.</p>
<p>"Fuck you," you spoke just above a whisper, not wanting to let him know you were balling your eyes out on his baby blue shirt, "I love you too."</p>
<p>"What did I tell you midget," with tears still in your eyes, you looked up and pouted, only for him to hold your face in his hands. He kissed your face, slowly making his way from his cheeks to your eyes, and finally to your lips. Life was leading you through a peculiar path, but moments like these made you remember that there was something worth living for, "<strong>don't hold back anymore.</strong>"</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i have a bit of a dilemma... what could i do for kageyama? i'm not much of a stan, so i don't pay him much attention, but i do know that i wanna write abt him! i know i said i was gonna do my own thing for characters, buuuut i would rly appreciate it if you could maybe give me some ideas for kageyama? thx, luv u guys &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. sugawara kōshi— "there's nothing more i'd like to do."</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>suga baby's turn!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was tough having to feel so useless. When it felt like everything was aligning, suddenly, you were pulled back down to reality, finally realizing the opacity of what it really meant to be alive. He felt it at every step he took, the pressure of responsibilities; activities to keep him entertained, only to be back at square one. Regardless, they didn't hold the same spark as they did before. Ever since the start of his third year, the rocks in his shoes had become weighty, full of worries and extravagant thoughts of what his life could be, only to have his self-esteem overcome him with the verity of the situation. He was going to be an adult. He would have to leave his friends, family, hobbies, wants, <strong>needs</strong> behind for the sake of the continuous cycle of life. What was he to do?</p><p>It was like everything was circling around him in this moment, engrossing him in a bubble made for his own demise, slowly dissipating him until all that would be left of him was ash. Even when he tried to show himself the good in life, he was always brought to the limit of it all: the end of the life he so desperately clung to now, hoping it wouldn't crumble in his grasp.</p><p>"Sugawara, it's your turn!" he turned at his name, surprised at the ball suddenly being flung at his face. Too distracted to receive it, he felt it hit his forehead, flinging his head back a little. Well that was great.</p><p>"Hey Koushi, you okay? You don't seem very awake today," still holding his head in one hand, he felt the strong hold of Asahi as he pulled him up again, "you need some water? Maybe just a seat for a little while—?"</p><p>"N-No, I want to keep playing!" Realizing how loud his words were, his eyes widened, the weight of his thoughts finally getting to him. So, it really was that bad. As much as he didn't want time to pass, he really did wish this moment went by as quickly as possible, not wanting to look into his friend's worried eyes any longer. It was days before he finally broke out of his staring match with Asahi, walking away taking a seat against the cool wood of the wall. Looking at the continuing practice, he felt so small: everything kept on going without him. Really, if he weren't in practice, there wouldn't be much missing. He was a small dot in the expanse of a white sheet of paper; useless and unnecessary. His spot had already been filled, anyway, why did he even have to be there? It wasn't like he was the best setter to begin with, he was just a liability at this point. A token of participation, a piece of <em>junk</em>. In that case, would it really matter if he wasn't here to begin with? He was sure the school didn't mind him either way since he was just another number in the long list of students. Although his parents loved him, they would probably be better off without him: that way, at least, they wouldn't have to deal with the expenses of college and his existential self any longer.</p><p>As for his friends... he didn't really know where he stood in all of this with them. He imagined that he was pretty draining as of late, even when he would put up his happy face. He was angry and lashed out sometimes when they spoke to him about his feelings, but he didn't think that they very much enjoyed the constant empty stares that he passed their way. It wasn't fun to see them all worried like they were, but what could he do, he couldn't seem to take himself out of this mindset by himself.</p><p>Then again, there was always you. Whenever he was with you, he felt okay. You were regal to him; above him in any way possible. He couldn't see himself without you, having been there for him through everything he's felt. You always called him your little Suga, saying it was cute because of how it translated in English. Your little "sugar."</p><p>He was definitely blinded by anxiety most of the time, but when he was with you life was so much easier.</p><p>"Koushi," he looked up from his spot in the floor to see his dear friend, Daichi. A soft smile was on his lips, eyes inviting and supportive as always, "how about you take the day off? Get some rest in, you look like you really need it."</p><p>"Gee, thanks." His laugh echoed in his head, making him want to get up and feel better, but at the same time he can't help but feel worried that maybe this is one of the last moments he will ever have with his best friend. His hands felt clammy, forehead now a little sweaty at the anxiety eating up at him. Finally standing up, he watches the way Daichi presents himself: strong, sturdy, and caring. Everyone should have a Daichi in their life. God, he really needed some fresh air.</p><p>"Hey, Sugawara," just before walking out of the gym, bags in hand, he feels Daichi's heavy hand on his shoulder, "none of us are going anywhere, believe me."</p><p>"We'll see about that." Smiling sheepishly back at Daichi, he walks out, immediately met with loving, inviting eyes. There you were, in all your glory, standing just a few feet away with what looks like sticks in your hands. Finally making your way to him, you hold his face in yours, pulling him down for a tender kiss. It was like you already knew he was feeling worried, trailing both your hands down to his and squeezing them tight. Taking one hand away, you rubbed his arm in a reassurance you knew he needed right now, a grounding mechanism you picked up after his last panic attack. He was absolute putty in your hands, or rather, a puzzle in a windstorm. After being blown away, you always came around to pick up the pieces and set them back as they were, no matter what it cost you. You were just so <em>good</em> like that.</p><p>"Suga, I know you're feeling a little under the weather right now so I prepared us a little something for after your practice," he looked down at that, feeling like a disappointment at the sudden idea that you were hoping he would finish at least one club meeting, "but it's okay, now we can start sooner and watch the sun go down! Now, go change out of your volleyball clothes and meet me at the vending machine so that we can head out!"</p><p>Still feeling a bit wary, he only slightly smiled, wanting to leave you be. What if he was being too weak? Was he really deserving of the treatment you gave him? It seemed foreign now, to think that he could see you as someone he could depend on. You were too good for him, that was clear enough, so why would he ever think that he could be worthy of your love? He made his way into the bathrooms, taking off his shorts and tee, and changing back in to his school uniform. He was so lame, why wouldn't he bring anything else to change into? Then again, if he were to have an outfit then you would be out of place with your uniform, and that would definitely be weird. Considering he looks older, people would probably get the wrong idea, and that would make you uncomfortable. He really didn't want that. But since he's so awkward in his school uniform anyways, it would only make sense—</p><p>"Hey silly, are you done in there? Or are you using that brain of yours too much! Come on, that way we can make it for the sunset!" He rushed out, his bag in hand, and feeling like his heart was going to burst out of his chest. He desperately didn't want to disappoint you.</p><p>"I-I'm sorry, I was just thinking about how I want to dress well for you, and how—"</p><p>"Stop it! No more thinking," Tapping him in the head with a glow-stick, you dropped it into his hands, "I don't care what you wear, look like, or act like for that matter. I wouldn't be with you like this if it wasn't because I love you! You're a beautiful, kind, and gentle guy with a heart of jelly, and I love every bit of it!"</p><p>If his heart didn't burst now, it would be a wonder. You said it all so naturally, so fluently that it felt like he was all you could think about. Maybe you were right, he was overthinking everything. All he had to do was relax; he had to try, at least, for your sake. He was a handful, and the thought of being a burden to you was too much for him to handle.</p><p>"Sugaaa, please just trust me," bringing him down to your height, you pressed your lips to his again, making him melt at your touch. He was yours, purely and utterly yours. Nothing could change that, "I know it's not your fault that you feel this way, but I just want you to know that <strong>there's nothing more I'd like to do</strong> than be with you right here, right now. You're special, and I wouldn't have you any other way you big cutie."</p><p>With your arms wrapped around him, he felt so needed. You were all he ever dreamed of; his pretty, little starlight in a dark sky. He couldn't help his tears in that moment, feeling somewhat relieved for the first time in weeks, like you were draining him of all his worries. He was warm, at peace, and <em>alive</em>. No matter how hard life got, you were there; waiting for him at the corner of his eye and opening your arms for a gentle embrace. Sure, he didn't deserve you, but you bet he would keep you as close as he could.</p><p>"I'm sorry. I trust you more than anyone I've ever known, I just get worried sometimes that maybe I'm just a handicap to you. I'm always so wary of everything I do, I don't want to take all of the good in you for myself," pulling away slightly, he looked in to your eyes with tears still wanting to fall. You were beautiful, a comet that brightened up the emptiness of his night, "I love you with all my being, and I want to be better. I want to be there for you, just like you're always there for me."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>umm, okay, sorry for all the sad chapters i've posted? idk if y'all like them like this, but i know that rn they've been kind of dark and gloomy. i struggle a lot with these types of thoughts, and ig it kind of reflects in my writing? yeah... but it's okay! i'm working on myself, and i hope that if you all ever feel this way, that you have people that will stay with you throughout this process of getting better. you all deserve to feel good :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. bokuto kōtarō— "i'll kiss you while i can."</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hey hey hey, i wrote this chapter just a teeny bit longer! boku bb! also, AH, I need help w the kageyama ch bc idk what to do w him! kageyama stans, wya</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He was amazing in every way possible. His smile, his hair, and even his doofus attitude towards the world. He was so exuberant; a ball of joy, and the love of your life. Your world, your lover, your <strong>other half</strong>. He was nothing but good, so full of purity and bewilderment that it was a wonder he even asked you out.</p><p>That day was magical... truly one to keep close for the rest of your life. It was a pretty, snowy day as the year came to a close, and he had asked you to meet him in the park. When you got there, you were surprised to find that he was holding some pretty roses and a small box of chocolates, almost feeling as though you were invading some special moment he had set up. Having seen you, he tried running to you: emphasis on run. Three quarters of the way to you, he ended up slipping on the concrete and dropping everything in his hands, practically face planting as all the chocolates sprawled in the white snow. You were in complete and utter shock at everything; the intent, the items, and Bokuto on the floor could have put you in cardiac arrest, your heart beating too hard in your chest to ever be normal. Bokuto bringing you back to reality, you gasp as he lifts himself up off the ground, slightly wincing at the scratches on his knees, holes now in his pants. He was still on his knees, seemingly embarrassed, but with intent in his eyes.</p><p>He was ready. He had spoken to Akaashi about it, and surprisingly, he had given him some pretty solid advice for how to actually execute this whole shebang. It had seemed pretty simple and nice when he had thought about it, but everything changed once he asked you to meet him at the park. Suddenly, he felt insecure; like all of his efforts would result in nothing, and as though he would become a laughing stalk. You were quite a beautiful person inside out, he definitely couldn't say the same for himself. He knew his flaws, and held them as though holding a double edged sword: exclaiming them as his, yet feeling the cutting pain of them at his lows. He didn't know what to expect, and with clammy, shaky hands, he had made his way to you only to embarrass himself more. As much as that should have put him down, he finally felt he had nothing to lose, and exclaimed,</p><p>"I know I'm embarrassing and stupid and annoying sometimes, but I really like you (y/n), and I hope that you can accept my feelings even with how pathetic I can be!" His eyes held hurt, pain, almost as though he was inflicting it on himself before anyone else could. He was prepared for your rejection, more so than he would be for any spike or serve. He had ruined it the moment he had shown up in this damn park, the moment he had chosen out the chocolates from the sweets shop. The moment he had sent out that text.</p><p>"...really? Do you really like me, Bokuto, or are you just playing a trick on me," his head lifted a little more, slightly confused at your words, but still backed up in a corner, ready for what you had to say to him, "if you really are serious, then, I-I like you too!"</p><p>He was slow, slightly because of the cold, but mostly because of the fact that he didn't know what to do. He had never really been in a position like this before; it was definitely foreign ground considering he was so obsessed with volleyball for the past two years of his high school life. What should he do? D-Did he get up and kiss you, or was that too soon? Jesus Christ what was he supposed to do—</p><p>"Ah." He couldn't get any worse. What was that?! Ah. What did that mean??! He knew he was in shock, but to this point? You wouldn't want to like him with how much of an idiot he was, at this point he should just apologize and leave to at least spare him some dignity. But, as though his guardian angel had felt pity for his situation, rather than leaving him on his knees, you just giggled. You couldn't help it, really, he was just so <strong>weird</strong> sometimes that you couldn't help but just laugh at his actions. He was so curious, so lovely, how could you not like that funny grin he always had. </p><p>"Come on Bokuto, you must have something more to say after I just accepted your confession," holding out your hand, his eyes filled with a sparkle as he took it in his larger one, "I have only <strong>one</strong> request for you: don't make me be the one that initiates everything, okay? Make me feel as special as you always do, you big loudmouth."</p><p>From then on, everything felt like a dream. Life was passing you both by, too entranced in the surreal feeling of being one. Just the two of you taking on the world, connected and united by the love that you both had for each other.</p><p>But then came graduation.</p><p>Sure, things weren't too bad in that regard. You two were both third years, but that didn't change the fact that both of you would be studying in different places. He was going to be off spiking balls while you were going to be studying for your career; you two were going your separate ways. It wasn't like you didn't know this was bound to happen... you just didn't expect it to hurt as much as it does.</p><p>"Shit dude, what am I supposed to do?" Your last few days were coming to an end, the panicky feeling growing in the back of your head. You had been pushing away these anxious thoughts for about two weeks now, but it didn't get any easier when it would fully consume you. Who knew if Bokuto had even realized how much this would affect you two, he was too busy being cute and oblivious about everything.</p><p>It hurt to think that maybe these were the last few days you two would be together like you were: spending time and love together, feeling safe in the arms of each other. Both of you were going your own ways; moving forward, and taking on life on your own. No matter how much you wish it would be the two of you.</p><p>Finding yourself in the school's baseball field, you sat on a bench near the wired fence. All you wanted to do was cry. So you did. You let yourself cry, too scared for the future to even care about who saw you. He wasn't like all the other boys in your life: he was him. He was the guy who fell on his knees just trying to ask you out. He was the one who would carry you everywhere if you let him; the guy that would hold you in his arms until you finally told him to get off. He was Bokuto Kōtarō, the one who took your heart and kept it close, filling it up with a warmth you never thought was possible...</p><p>"Fuck."</p><p>"Hey hey hey, why the profanity?" Your eyes widened, both hands rushing to wipe away your tears. You didn't lift your head, knowing he would see through your fake smile. Even so, you could see his sneakers stop in front of you. <em>He must have come from practice,</em> "Wait, what's wrong? Did I do something?"</p><p>"No, you're fine. I'm just being dramatic." He held your chin in his hand, pulling your head up and looking with worry and slight fear in his eyes. It wasn't something normal or regular for you to just cry, especially in public. You were pretty strong in that sense; opposite of him, you actually had control of what you were feeling and when you would express it. Right here, right now, you were hurting, but why? Did he mess up in some way? There had been times when he didn't know he had hurt you, but that was mostly inexperience in relationships. He didn't know any better, but he was trying. Sitting next to you, he spoke,</p><p>"From what I understand, and correct me if I'm wrong since I've <strong>only</strong> known you for, like, what... three years?" you couldn't help the smile that adorned your face, he always knew how to make you feel bettter, "Of those three years I've come to know a strong, stubborn, and wonderful person named (y/n), and right now, that is definitely not the (y/n) I know. So what's wrong."</p><p>He had come far since the beginning of your relationship, that's for sure. Before, he didn't even bother asking how you were, taking your words as truth, and not minding when you seemed down. Now, he was supportive, and he took his time to really listen and help. From a boy to a man.</p><p>"You'll think it's stupid."</p><p>"How do you know? What if I think it's amazing! Or what if it's just another thing that'll make me love you more?" Holding you by your waist and nuzzling his head into your neck, he took in your scent. You were always so sweet; he was like a dog when it came to it. Everything about you was so perfect to him, and he would say that loud and proud any day. No matter how many fights or how many mess-ups you both had, he could never truly be mad at you. It was like being mad at little bird for chirping too beautifully, like saying you weren't the light of his life.</p><p>"Well then I know it's stupid," grabbing his head between your hands, you looked into his pretty, gold eyes. They twinkled in your grasp, almost changing as the sun slowly set into a beautiful copper, "I don't want to stress you any more than you must be."</p><p>"(y/n), don't be like that, you know that your worries are my worries, don't you? We're one, remember?" That brought some new tears to your eyes, watching as the twinkle died down in his eyes, only to be replaced by deep concern.</p><p>"Kou, do you think that... we'll still be together once we graduate? We're both going to different universities, and they're not too close to each other, so do you think it'll even work out? I don't want to hold you back from living life, but at the same time, I don't want to be an after thought in your mind. I want to be with you, Bokuto, but I'm just scared that maybe it won't be able to happen." Looking back in his eyes, you saw an aching pain that now replaced his once hopeful look. You didn't mean to hurt him, you just wanted to tell him what you felt. You just didn't want this to be the end.</p><p>"(y/n)... have you been thinking about this a lot?"</p><p>"Yeah."</p><p>"Oh." there came a pressuring tension in the air, bitter sweet in all ways possible, and torturous in the mood. Something was going to change between the two of you; whether for better or worst, you couldn't tell.</p><p>"I love you a lot. I'd be damned if I let you go just because of a little distance," your breath caught in your chest at his abruptness, feeling your hand slip into his oh so easily, "I know it's better said than done, but honestly, I couldn't think of myself with anyone else than you! There's no one else who could handle me as well as you do. Absolutely no one in the world.</p><p>"You're so much more than just my lover: you're my best friend, and companion for life. I know I'm not one to be so lovey-dovey like this, but I can't help what I feel! You're the only one I want!"</p><p>He was too much. Pulling him by the neck you kissed him. Kissed him like you never would again. He could be right: it wasn't like either of you wanted to end things at all. You two would make it for a little while longer, at least. You couldn't help the simmering anxiety in the back of your head, brought down to low now with the words of Bokuto, but still present. There would always be someone else in the world, it was too grand to not. You two would meet new people, and who knew, maybe even love them any more, but as of now, you knew who you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. And so, you couldn't help but whisper,</p><p>"<strong>I'll kiss you while I can</strong>, Kou."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>hi! sorry, i had to take a day-break bc life is kinda tough! i'm back on it, though, so hopefully i'll be able to keep updating daily!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. oikawa tōru— "how much can you handle, kitten."</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this chapter is inspired by the bad bitch in all of us... EAT MEEEEN!!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sure, he was pretty and all, but that didn't mean you'd spare him.</p><p>He had been testing you all week with that damn voice of his; mocking you, making you feel like there was no one else but him. He was very strategic in that regard, experienced and ready to make your life a living hell. As fucking cliché and stupid as it sounded, you really didn't like him. Who would be able to handle that type of attitude long enough to be his partner? The poor fangirls surrounding him knew nothing of what he was capable of: pure and utter torture.</p><p>"(y/n)-chaaan, let's go somewhere after school~!"</p><p>"No, go away," pushing his face away from your, you kept on walking to class with a soured attitude, "you'd be dead before you even get to breathe the same air as me."</p><p>"Why do you have to be so mean," he walked to your right, not really minding your threats. That's what you hated the most. He never let up, not caring that you were absolutely livid at the sight of him. It's not like you had a reason to hate him, no, it's just his fault that you couldn't walk anywhere at night because there was always some little girl around, ready to stab you for taking away <em>his precious attention</em>, "you know, for a wing spiker you're quite a tease."</p><p>"How about you piss off and go fuck around with someone else." Reaching a set of stairs, you picked up your pace, hearing Oikawa follow along. Getting up the first set, you were surprised to feel his hand grip your wrist, turning you around and pinning you to the wall. Everything had frozen, as though time was passing you by, his hand still holding on. In any other situation, you would have probably screamed and kicked, not allowing yourself to be treated like this, but this felt <strong>different</strong>. His hot breath on the top of your head, you stood still, waiting for what was to come. This bitch really knew how to push your buttons.</p><p>He only moved closer, head bending down to your ear, blowing warm air on your neck, wanting to provoke you. You lightly shuddered, not wanting to give in so easily to his attempts. The hand that wasn't holding you tight trailed lightly up your side, finally reaching your cheek and slipping into your hair. He pulled gently, making you look up at his devilish eyes, lighting up a fire deep inside you. He was testing you; seeing how far you would let him go, and right now, he felt he already won.</p><p>"That potty mouth of yours won't get you anywhere sweet, little thing." As though the pressure of his body against yours was the only thing that was keeping you steady, you dropped at his disconnection. You were fuming at this point, completely consumed by anger and hate for this stupid boy. Who the hell did he think he is?! If you were in an anime you'd have already ended him; one punch man style. Regardless of that bubbling anger, you couldn't help but trail your eyes up, watching him through thick lashes, looking for his next move. You wouldn't let out that easily. Watching you, he almost seemed intimidated, scared of what you're capable of. And he was. By far, if he could name some people he was fearful of he would definitely say that you were up top. Iwaizumi was tough, sure, but the fact that you were just so untouchable (even if he had just pinned you to the wall) was enough to make him fear what was to come. You were unbothered by him, living your life and not caring for what he had to offer you.</p><p>"This potty mouth of mine can bite your dick off just as quick as you can talk, bitch," you stood, pulling your bag over your shoulder, and shoved him away, "don't try and test me like that again or I'll make sure it's the last day you live, Tooru."</p><p>He felt himself warm up at the way his name slipped off your tongue, sensual and harsh. It wasn't as rude as he thought it would sound, no, it was quite attractive to watch how strong you were. He didn't mind your obscenities spit at him: rather, he wanted to hear you call him more things, dominate him with your confidence.</p><p>Watching your back as you walked up the second set of stairs, he simply stood; letting out a breath he didn't know he was holding. Soft, swaying hips at every powerful stride you took, he was entranced; mouth watering at the thought of you pushing him against the wall like he just did.</p><p>"Fuck."</p><p> </p><p>As the day came to an end, you couldn't help but let your mind wander to the morning. Oikawa Tooru wasn't necessarily difficult to read. He was quite proud on the outside, but the moment you got close to him it was clear who exactly he was. He was insecure, feeling like he's not enough. Always reaching for perfection. Sometimes, when he came to mind, you would feel bad: he was only trying to make himself feel better by acting all smug and confident on the outside. He was just a sad boy in the end, fearing the idea that maybe he won't get on the level of whoever he was always bitching about. He wasn't always this much of a douche, that's for sure.</p><p>So then why did he always have to be such an idiot?</p><p>Packing up, you made your way out the classroom, thinking about volleyball practice as you pulled open the door to the staircase. Only to see a very fidgety Tooru standing at the bottom of the first set of stairs.</p><p><em>How fitting, standing below me like the scummy dude you could be</em>, you thought, immediately regretting it as you realized that he wasn't being himself. He seemed unsure of what to do, whether approach you or let you come to him, so you gave him no choice. You went down the stairs, stood before him, and kicked him in the shins. He winced, holding his leg now and whining at the pain.</p><p>"Owie, why do you always have to be so rude to me (y/n)-chan," setting down his leg and now bending to rub it, he looked up, "you're always pushing me away, not wanting me to get any closer for some reason... I want to figure you out."</p><p>Having had enough of him, you put your foot on his shoulder and push him to his butt, now really standing over him. He seemed startled at your actions, but not really making much of an effort to get away, so you only led it on further, wanting to take out your frustration from earlier in the day. He was gonna pay, that's for sure.</p><p>"Figure me out, huh. How amusing," you walked closer to him, making him scoot against that same, damn wall he had the audacity to push you on, "let's say I did let you in closer, what would you do with that? Probably save it for some type of blackmail like the scummy dude you are, am I right?"</p><p>He was pressed against the wall, still sat on the floor as you finally kneeled to his level. He couldn't help his excitement at your extremities, anticipation showing in the light sweat on his forehead at your closeness. You were practically pinning him down, exerting your dominance over him like a wild animal. If you weren't a few inches short of him, he probably would have been scared, but alas, your genetics failed you in this. Even so, he felt the shiver go down his spine at the pure exhilaration you sent through his body, making him inwardly quiver as you only made him feel more small.</p><p>You grabbed his chin, pulling him just centimeters away from your face, close enough to see the depth of your eyes. Your pupils were blown out, making your eyes more intimidating as you put the other against his chest. Even with the boundary of clothes, the feeling of your hand touching him was euphoric. He couldn't imagine how your plush lips would feel against his.</p><p>"You like this, don't you? You like how my hands feel all over you, showing you whose boss," the hand holding his chin traced his jawline, now pushing against his lip, "well, I wonder <strong>how much can you handle, kitten</strong>, before I wreck you."</p><p>Taking him by the back of the head, you yanked him forward and pressed your lips against his. Rough and tempting, he couldn't help but give in to your top energy, wanting you to give him more of what you had to offer. You were just so irresistible like that, making him feel like you were all he needed to be able to survive. Your taste was addicting; sticky sweet like agave, keeping him wanting more. You weren't letting him have too much satisfaction, though, pushing him off of you with the hand against his chest. Both of your guys' lips were red, tingling with desire pent up by the tension held between you two. It was like all those insults were compiling into this moment, bringing you two to the brink of pure want. </p><p>Head still gripped in your hand, you held him there, looking at the weird expression he had. He wasn't looking at you with those smug eyes like he usually did; this was a more profound, almost sure set of eyes that were taking you apart bit by bit. He had finally realized something, you could feel it, but what it was you didn't know.</p><p>He knew. It was something he had been avoiding for a while now, knowing it wouldn't bring him anywhere too good considering you basically despised him. He wanted you not just for these moments (although he'd be lying if he said he didn't want you to make him feel like this again), but for himself. He wanted to be able to call him his; see you smile at him for a change, and make him feel more <strong>confident</strong>.</p><p>"Okay," letting go of his hair, you stood up again, looking down at him with the same confusion in your eyes as before. You didn't know what to feel about him, now even more, "I want you to take this as a lesson; something to remember the next time you even try to treat me like you did this morning.</p><p>"Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got practice to get to."</p><p>So, you walked off, hips still swaying like they did before. He sat there a bit, processing his thoughts, feeling as though his mind was racing just a little too quickly. Lightly touching his lips, he could almost feel you against him, lips pressed on his, making him want to beg for more.</p><p>"Kitten... interesting."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>idk tooru is just the type of dude you just need to top, you know? just to show him how it's done. damn, okay, ig i rly just don't like oikawa or sum, he just makes me wanna act. up!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. sawamura daichi— "lovely, little manager."</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>daichi is definitely boyfriend material, you cannot deny that</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Please, if you're not already busy, join us in the volleyball club. I'm graduating this year, so I'd like to have someone set up for the team," you had just been walking out of your class only to find the pretty third year that everyone had been talking about. It was known throughout the second years by now that she had been walking around before and after class, looking for someone to replace her as manager for the up-in-coming volleyball club. You just didn't expect her to be this <em>beautiful</em>, "if you don't mind at least stopping by today, I'd love to show you around and give you a chance to consider it... what do you say?"</p><p>"Um, well—" you were at a loss of words, what could you really say? You hadn't joined any clubs, only ever attended once or twice because a friend had asked you to. You usually preferred to hang around the park drawing, but maybe this would be good; maybe this could be your chance to explore your interests, before it's too late, "I could always give it a try...?"</p><p>Her eyes lit up at this, almost as though you were her saving grace. Her cheeks had brightened up, a smile lining her face in the most graceful way possible. She was gorgeous; a beautiful, full moon. She grabbed both your hands in her own.</p><p>"Thank you so much, I know you'll come to care for these guys as much as I do," now taking one of your hands in hers, she led you out of the school halls and down towards the gyms. You were practically at a loss for words, usually you had somewhat control over your emotions, but right now all you wanted to do was run. It wracked you with nerves to think that you would be in such close proximity to people you hardly knew; anyone would feel a <em>little</em> nervous at the thought of being the <strong>new</strong> person. You took a deep breath, though, as to not make you freak out more than you should. She seemed kind and caring, there was no way she would make you do more than you were comfortable with. Well, before anything, you still needed to know one thing.</p><p>"Um, if you don't mind me asking, could I get your name?" Stopping in her tracks, just feet away from the entrance to a particular gym, she seemed to go a little pink in the cheeks.</p><p>"Oh...! Sorry, I guess I got a bit excited," she looked down, smiling at the thought that she was so enthused to find you, "my name is Kiyoko Shimizu, I'm a third year and the current manager for the boys volleyball club. I'm glad you reminded me, these boys can get a bit carried away sometimes—"</p><p>"Kiyoko-chan, you're back!" Behind her, you could see a shorter boy running towards her, about to tackle her for some reason. She was quick to act though, having already stepped aside for him to fall on his face. She was definitely used to this, but sadly, you weren't, so now you were just standing there. About to get pummeled by a dude you didn't even know. Well, you kind of did, having seen him in one of the second year classes, but that didn't mean you knew him enough to feel comfortable with him crushing you.</p><p>You could see the regret in Kiyoko's eyes, the want to take you away from the situation, but alas, it was too late. He even seemed to feel bad at the realization of it, almost wanting to back away, but he had already pounced. As though life was in slow motion at this time, it reset again, and you felt the aching pain of having fallen directly onto concrete. Great way to try new things.</p><p>"Nishinoya, what are you doing! Get up right now," He scrambled up from you, wanting to apologize but not knowing how. Kiyoko had kneeled at your side; she was whispering a string of apologies to you, explaining that he didn't know what he was doing sometimes and that she understood if you would like to leave. But your eyes never left the figure standing at the doorway. He looked strong; built with muscle, and confident in his stance. He was scolding the smaller boy, but you didn't care. He was a sight to see.</p><p>Bright, brown eyes were shiny under the still high sun, hair a shiny silk: short, but oh so fitting. He looked great in black, that was for sure, but he just looked great in general. You were fixated, wanting to watch him some more, but feeling kind of weird at the thought of being a creep. Was it creepy, though? You were still sitting on the floor, so you could just say that you were shocked and couldn't look away... or you could just admit the fact that you were checking out the cool dude who was packing cake.</p><p>Almost as though he had heard your dark thoughts, he looked over to you and seemed surprised. Was he not expecting company? Jeez, you should have known better than to just barge in like you did. Then again, Kiyoko did invite you there herself, so you thought it would be okay. Ugh, why were you so dumb?</p><p>"I'm sorry on his behalf, I'll make sure he gets some sort of punishment for being so brash towards you," he walked forward, still looking at you with slightly confused eyes, but you didn't mind. It felt wonderful, "I hope you don't feel too uncomfortable to come in."</p><p>So you were expected... had Kiyoko already told him, or something? He lit up, a soft red coating his face at the realization of his words. He had already invited you in without even knowing who or what you were doing here. He couldn't help it, you were just too cute to not want to talk to you some more. It was like instinct for him; like his subconscious had taken his brain into automatic, telling him it was too important of a chance to leave. Hey, at least he asked to have you in rather than asking you out.</p><p>All you could do was nod, feeling lightheaded at the thought that he had spoken to you. He held his hand out, helping you up as Kiyoko steadied you with a hand on your back. You couldn't look away, he was just too darn beautiful to do such a thing. It wasn't until you realized that you were still holding on to his hand that you did, embarrassed at your directness. My god, when were you gonna learn to not be so weird?!</p><p>"I brought (y/n) in to take a look at the club," Daichi looked to Kiyoko, curious at her words. This was news for him, "(y/n) is considering becoming the new manager for the team...!"</p><p>"Oh, well that's great! I'm excited to have you as part of the club," you blushed, feeling your heart race at his words. Sure, he didn't know you were already head over heels for him, but he could take at least <em>some</em> type of pity towards you, "well, that is, if you decide to join us."</p><p>What the hell was that? The last thing he should be doing is pressuring you. Now, you would probably feel guilty if you didn't join, and he didn't want you to get into something because he made you feel like you needed to. Hopefully he didn't make things worse...</p><p>"I'll be bringing (y/n) in now, Daichi," Kiyoko walked you forward, hand still at your back in a reassuring kind of way. She wasn't dumb; he could see the twinkle in Daichi's eyes the moment he laid eyes on you, "don't leave the team alone for too long, don't want another player tackling (y/n) again."</p><p>Now he was at a loss for words, was he being so direct that even Kiyoko could tell what he was doing? So much for wanting to impress you.</p><p>The practice went smoothly after that; having got the hang of what exactly Kiyoko does, you found it actually quite fun to feel a part of this team. Sure, you weren't playing, but you were a key player regardless of that. You made sure things were organized, and considering the types of boys you had met so far, it was best to have someone else in charge of those types of things. You liked it, and could see yourself caring for these boys as much as Kiyoko did. They were all just too darn lovable.</p><p>"(y/n)-senpai, (y/n)-senpai! Are you planning on staying here with us?!" An excited red-head was practically flying as he jumped in front of you, startling you at his sudden exclamation. Although you had already decided, it didn't take away the shyness; after all, it wasn't like you were all long-time friends. At least, not yet.</p><p>"Um, well—"</p><p>"Hinata, that's for them to decide on her own, okay? Don't pressure (y/n)," with a hand on his shoulder, the boy named Hinata finally calmed down, now worried that he might have ruined everything. That wasn't the impression you wanted to give, "now go clean up so I can close up the gym already."</p><p>"Oh! Um, I was actually gonna say that I've decided! I-I'll be joining as club manager," Kiyoko had that same smile on her face, now pushing Hinata away, scared that he would pull a Nishinoya and scare you away. Her smile made you feel proud, though, until you realized how direct you were coming off, "well, if I can."</p><p>"Of course we'll have you," Daichi walked up to you, both hands now gripping your shoulders, making you shiver lightly at his closeness, "you're already a wonderful member of the team, I'm glad to have you as our new manager. You'll do amazing, I already know it."</p><p>You knew he was a captain, but damn did he know how to make you feel confident. He, on the other hand, was melting on the inside. What came over him that he felt the need to give you a pep talk. Was it because he felt how wary you were of not messing up? Or was it because he just really wanted to make sure that you would stay a while longer with him. Either way, he quickly took his hands off your shoulders, looking to the side now as he took in the fact that you would be here, with them... with <strong>him</strong>. His heart pounded at knowing he had the chance to make memories with you, and possibly blossom your friendship into something he's wanted the moment he laid eyes on you; a relationship. His train of thought was disrupted by your giggle, looking back to see a hand at your mouth, eyes smiling.</p><p>"When you put it that way, it makes me want to do my best," gaining a confidence you didn't know you had, you kissed him on the cheek, "thank you Daichi, I'll make sure to take good care of you and the rest of the team for as long as you'll have me."</p><p>Walking off in the direction you saw Kiyoko go in, you left him, too embarrassed now to stay there any longer. He simply stood there, watching you walk away, a light smile on his face at the butterflies fluttering about in his body. You were something else.</p><p>"Might as well glue your eyes on our new manager if you're gonna keep staring at her like that," Sugawara slapped him on his back grinning at the way his friend was practically gawking, "you excited much?"</p><p>"Yeah, I am," Daichi held his cheek where you kissed it, the butterflies wanting to break out of his chest at this point, "can't wait to have our <strong>lovely, little manager</strong> around some more."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>sorry, i've rly been slacking, haven't i? i'm just relaxing, but honestly, i'm pretty okay with it. i'm trying to work on some separate fanfics, so sorry if i'm just a teeny bit inactive on this one :P</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. kozume kenma— "really didn't think it'd be this way."</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>never rly thought kenma was interested in relationships, honestly, but i think he'd be pretty soft if he was</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When you thought of yourself with someone, you imagined moments of joy and unity that overcame all the bad you may have felt at the time. Those moments in your head were lovely; a bright world of curiosity and adoration for one another that could not be ignored. You and your significant other were alive and in love, unrestricted and enamored.</p>
<p>Of course... that was the plan.</p>
<p>Yeah, things weren't like that. Instead, there you were: laying on his bed while he played his game on the other side of the room, bouncing a volleyball on your stomach and staring at the ceiling. Sometimes it felt like you were alone. Like maybe this was all made up in your head and you were just crazy; a weird stalker who had a fantasy land planned in your head. Just to be broken when you realize that it was all a dream. He was an amazing friend, and just a one of a kind human being, but it always felt like everything was one-sided. He never seemed to be in the moment with you; even in the happiest of times, he was always so <em>distant</em>. He was shy, you told yourself, but after a whole year of being together you would think that maybe he would be a little more comfortable. Even then, you found yourself scolding your mind whenever you got even the slightest bit frustrated at him; he wasn't comfortable, and that was okay! That should be okay.</p>
<p>It was hard sometimes when you would listen to your friends talk about their dates and see their partners bring them flowers or sweets. You told yourself that it was all fine, and that he just had a different love language than the others. He was just a particular person, that was all.</p>
<p>And as you led yourself down that path, you questioned the basis of your whole relationship. If you were so upset, then why were you with him? That question usually made you cry, thinking of the possibility that you wouldn't be able to see him. You loved him at this point, and couldn't stand the thought of being away from him for too long. You were the one who had confessed, after all. </p>
<p>He had just been sitting in class that day; playing his game while sucking on a lollipop. He was never very talkative, but when he was, he made your heart wrench. His tone was as smooth as ever, and he always had that small smile you loved whenever you would speak about the things he liked. He was wonderful, and it was with that thought that you had made up your mind to finally let him know what you felt. You had asked him if he could meet you by the gym, which he had hesitantly agreed to, but you ignored that. He did meet you there, and only put away his game after seeing your nervous expression. You were usually excited when you spoke to him, so you only imagined that he perceived the moment as important.</p>
<p>The words were all jumbled in your head at first, difficult to phrase, but the moment you opened your mouth, it just all came out.</p>
<p>"I like you Kozume," his eyes only widened, confused and curious, "not like friends, but as in I would like you to be my boyfriend."</p>
<p>He didn't react after, and decided to avert his gaze to the grass growing at the side of the concrete path. You, on the other hand, felt like exploding. He wasn't doing anything, and it was killing you. Would it hurt to at least look at you a little, or maybe just express some type of emotion on his face? It felt like minutes were hours, and you couldn't help the light tear that slipped out of your grasp. Now he looked at you, more confused than ever, but this time he did express. He was worried, panicking almost, and now you didn't know what to do. Were you making him feel guilty, or was this just because he cared for you? Ugh, you didn't know at this point, but it still hurt for him to not say anything. As though hearing your thoughts, finally spoke.</p>
<p>"Could I answer you after practice? I just need to think about this a little... I'll text you."</p>
<p>"O-Oh," your shoulders slumped, but even though the pressure you felt seemed to cease, it didn't take away the distress that was still bubbling inside you, "yeah, sure."</p>
<p>Those two hours were a test from the universe, honestly, as you tried to do your chemistry while dealing with obsessive thoughts.</p>
<p>
  <em>He didn't like you that way. He's just trying to find a way to let you down easy; trying to not hurt you any more than he was going to. He was only being nice, never wanting to speak to you again after the humiliation you put him through at your confession—</em>
</p>
<p>Your phone buzzing, you scrambled over to your bed, quickly opening it up and checking your text:</p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <span class="u">Kozume Kenma (the dude i'm kinda obsessed with);</span>
  </strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>I like you too. Would you like to go out with me?</strong>
</p>
<p>Your heart swooned at that, one of the most romantic things he has ever said to the date. You were in the clouds, and even though he wasn't much different and you usually took charge of anything going on in the relationship, you were okay for those few months. You walked with him, sat with him at lunch, went to his games, and even held his hand when he wasn't using his game. Sure, sometimes you wanted him to pull a move on you, but you hardly thought of that because your mind was always on how lucky you were to have him.</p>
<p>How you wish you could go back to that bliss; and yet, here you were. Laying around, feeling neglected.</p>
<p>In moments like these you liked to reassure yourself with that text, but as of late it had felt empty. It didn't mean as much as it used to because now you were unsure of what this meant to him. Did he think that you were okay, or did he just do all this to not hurt you. From what one of his friends had told you (the one with the weird hair), he had asked him what to do about your confession, feeling worried and unsure of what to do about his predicament. It made it seem like he was pushed into it all, especially when he shut up said friend whenever he would try and tease you two about being together.</p>
<p>Many would say that communication would resolve all of your issues, but you didn't completely think so. He was unpredictable, and whenever you tried to bring any of this up he always ended up confused. He didn't know much about being in a relationship, seeing as this is his first, but he wasn't very focused on trying to know more. In those moments, you just gave up; saying you needed to go home and just crying on the way home. Just thinking about it made you upset; you would cry today, too.</p>
<p>Ugh, you were such a drama queen. Why did you always make yourself think such sad things in moments you should be enjoying? You were here in Kenma's room; his sacred space. He wouldn't let just anyone in, seeing as his games were all in here. You must mean something to him... or was this just another thing he did to make you feel better about your situation. You couldn't hold it in anymore, feeling the tears freely dragging down your face, your eyes still focused on the dim ceiling.</p>
<p>If it weren't for the fact that you were slightly sniffling then Kenma wouldn't have noticed you were upset, so focused on his game to realize that you were hurting. He didn't like that about himself; he was so oblivious, sometimes, to the things going on around him, and it hurt his relationships. He knew you weren't the same for quite a bit now, but the issue was that he didn't know how to fix it. It was clear you were patient with him; he didn't know much, and it was difficult to understand other people's needs sometimes. He had gotten better as he found more people he cared about, but you were something more than just friendship. He liked you a lot, but how did he show this? Nothing was ever easy, was it?</p>
<p>"(y/n), what's wrong? Did you get hurt?"</p>
<p>"I-It's fine, I'm just being a weird right now," you sat up, wiping away the tears and smiling sadly at him, "I think I'm just gonna head home now."</p>
<p>"Um, well... okay." You got up as though this was your cue, and reached for your school bag. You were quick with this, rehearsed in your mind for easier adaptation. From here, he would walk you to the door and you would kiss him on the cheek, feeling as though he wouldn't like it if you kissed him on the lips. Then, you would walk home, get some snacks, and cry yourself to sleep, not wanting to be a burden to him.</p>
<p>This time, though, you felt him grab your hand; squeezing it and pulling you into his chest with a resolve you never thought he'd have. He seemed a little nervous at first, but wrapped his arms around you after seeing the glossy anticipation in his eyes. He wanted to be good to you; show you how he felt, and make you know how serious he was about you. It didn't seem like it usually because he was too busy playing games, but he was done ignoring you; he may not know how to make you feel his love, but he was going to try.</p>
<p>"Sorry." His voice rumbled in his chest, your cheeks dusting lightly at how close you two were. It wasn't very often when you two would hug (again, you didn't know if he was comfortable with that type of closeness), but when you did, you were the one who initiated it. This... was a surprise.</p>
<p>And even more of a surprise, he looked into your eyes. Holding you where he could see you, he looked at you for longer than he may have these past months. His golden eyes were beautiful, and filled with deep found mystery that you never felt you would be able to explore. He looked at you with worry, but it was as though your smile was the key to his troubles; he was so sure of himself now, taking a risk for the better.</p>
<p>"I-I know I'm not always so good to you, and I think it's really hard because I just don't know what to do. You've shown me that things don't always have to be so difficult, though, and that it's okay to just go with the flow of things; explore and be free instead of just analyzing and hiding away from different situations. I want to be able to let myself go like this, and I know that being with you is just exactly what'll show me this</p>
<p>"Yeah, I'm being selfish, but I just want to give you what I know you deserve. I <b>really didn't think it'd be this way</b> when we first found each other, but I'm so glad it is. It's shown me that there's more to relationships with others, and that there's more work for me to do when it comes to expressing myself."</p>
<p>Your heart fluttered, and you really couldn't believe this was real, so you just hugged him close. You cried, sure, but it wasn't the same type of crying you did before. Now, he was holding you, pulling your head closer to his chest, and resting his own on your shoulder. You could feel his breath on your neck; warm, alive, and here with you. Your moments of wanting and self-pity were gone, replaced by a hope for the future revived by those bright, gold eyes. He had dissolved all obsessive thoughts you had, and grown flowers of them; pretty and colorful. The journey wasn't over, that was for sure, but things were gonna be different. Life was going to be exuberant, and you couldn't wait.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>my god, i started rewatching hxh and that's all i've been doing for these past three days, so sorry for not updating!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. help me pls</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>so basically i'm here</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>hello! just writing this to show that i'm still alive! metal health is rly low rn, so sorry for the lack of chapters! it's been a while, though, so i hope to get out of this rut soon and finish this book up... speaking of which, here are the characters i have currently on my list to write about:</p><p>- ukai keishin<br/>- yamaguchi tadashi*<br/>- yaku morisuke*<br/>- kageyama tobio<br/>- iwaizumi hajime<br/>- azumane asahi*<br/>- semi eita(?)</p><p>yeah, so i guess what i'm trying to say is whether you guys have some headcannons in mind? specifically for the ones unnmarked! I have some plans in mind for the ones i've marked, so i'm trying to see what i can do with the other guys. also! may not be able to get to it now, but if you have any suggestions for more guys to add, i'd be happy to take it into consideration! Thank you for supporting this book of angsty one-shots, it really means a lot to me that people enjoy it regardless of its quality!</p><p>hope you're staying healthy, and continue to keep your heads up! i know the U.S. is in bad shape right now, but together, we can fight and continue to move forward, creating a path for our future generation and making sure that all people can freely be themselves. </p><p> </p><p>(?)- i'm still kinda getting the hang of his character, so i'll see if i add him</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. iwaizumi hajime— "nothing can stop me."</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>been a while, hasn't it? he's lil iwa-chan, although it seems more like a hinata ch, sorry!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"What's taking so long??? Can't these people see that I have important stuff to get to??" If you could, you'd be beeping your horn like there was no tomorrow, but that was way too scary. Yes, you were pretty frustrated at the long line for parking, but it wasn't immense enough to even try honking. It sent a shiver down your spine, but even so, it didn't take away the worry you felt at the thought of missing his game.</p><p>"Relax a little, won't you? It's so early that we won't even miss the warm-ups," you tapped away at the steering wheel, only briefly glancing at your friend, "he's not going anywhere, and, in the rare case that we <i>do</i>, butofcoursewewon't, miss the game, he <b>will</b> understand! I bet that you could break his arm and he wouldn't even raise his voice at you!"</p><p>You took a deep breath, wanting to relax, but the look in his eyes yesterday had told you enough; this was the single most important thing to him, and he wouldn't walk out of that gym satisfied unless he was able to represent Miyagi. He was so focused and clear about his intentions that it stiffened you to the core, a deep anxiety, a nervous breakdown. Hey, if anyone was going to feel it, then you'd rather it be you. You had thought about maybe not going considering you were only going to be a ball of nerves, but thought better of it. It'd probably get better once you were sitting in the bleachers, you had thought, but now that you were even in proximity to the gym, you realized how wrong you were. He was going to be fighting for his life in there, ferociously and passionately, and what were you gonna do? Bring him down.</p><p>"... right," you stared forward, squeezing the wheel, and let out all the air in your lungs. If he was going to be giving it his all, you wanted to do so, too. He had told you himself, he wanted you there, so you'd be there. Now if only the cars would move a little quicker, "no use being dead weight!"</p><p>"There we go! Now give me that damn steering wheel, I'll make sure your car is parked nice and safely!" Reaching over you, she grabbed hold of the wheel, smirking at your dumbfounded look.</p><p>"W-Wait, you're not eighteen yet, what are you gonna do if you get in trouble? Do you even know how to drive?!"</p><p>"Don't ask unnecessary questions and get your butt out of this car already," opening your door, she lightly pushed you out, "make sure to save me a seat, don't wanna miss that flatty's jump serve!"</p><p>"He's not <i>that</i> flat, and you know you wanna see more than just his jump serve!" Looking both ways, you step out of the driver's seat, watching as your friend finally swoops in.</p><p>"Get your pervy thoughts out of here and head into that gym," you smile, happy to have someone as loving and supporting by your side, "and you better not say that, don't want that spaceship head of his to get any larger!"</p><p>You laugh, first jogging around the car and then full-on running through the crowd of people, your nerves getting the best of you. She gave you a chance you couldn't refuse, and now, you would make the most of it. Consequences were important, sure, but Iwaizumi's words rung in your ears.</p><p>"<b>I want to look up at the bleachers and see you calling out to me.</b>"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Well, if things couldn't get any more nerve-wracking, now you were lost. What could you say, the place was pretty huge, and you hadn't really gotten the chance to get a map of any sorts. More like you didn't give yourself the time, that is, because you had zoomed through the whole place and found yourself by the bathrooms instead. Looking around, you didn't even know where you had come from, confused and in distress. Oh, to just roll into a ball and sit in a corner; that would be the dream. Feeling your eyes tear up, you see a small boy walk out of the bathrooms, your fear going away. If he could walk around here without his mommy, then you could find your way around here, too! Maybe he knew how to get to the gym!</p><p>"Um, little boy, do you know where I could go to get to the bleachers?" You tapped his shoulder, his orange hair springing up at the mentioning of him, "I'm a little lost, and I need to get there soon or I'll be late—"</p><p>"I'm not a little boy!" He turned, jumping up extremely high, and looking like he was about to tear up himself. To say you were mortified would be an understatement. Now that he was turned around, you could see that he was wearing what looked to be a tracksuit for a high school, all black, but still carrying that authoritative look that a uniform would have. Now, at least, you could say you were crying out of embarrassment and not over distress.</p><p>"O-Oh! I didn't mean to be so rude about it, I-I'm sorry! I get that a lot, so I should be used to it by not, so please don't cry," he awkwardly touched your shoulders, patting lightly and looking around for some help. Now that he was standing straight, he wasn't as short as you thought he was; he was a little shorter than you, but made up for it with his wild orange hair, "If you keep on crying, then I'm gonna cry too and-and—" with that, he pulled you in, sniffling and crying himself.</p><p>How had you gotten into this situation? Yeah, you didn't know, but here you were, holding this strange boy and crying into him. You were worried, but you didn't know you were <i>this</i> worried.</p><p>"I just don't know where to go, and I don't wanna disappoint Iwaizumi by being late to his game. He said he wanted to see me in the bleachers, and now I don't know where to go!"</p><p>"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to yell at you and hurt your feelings! You're already going through so much, I— wait! You need to go to the bleachers?! I know where they are!" Your head perked up, looking at his big, brown eyes clearly now. His eyes were teary, but now he had a bright smile on his face, his eyes determined and joyful. He grabbed your hand, pulling you away, and finally bringing you to a short staircase.</p><p>"Here they are! You just go up these stairs, and you'll be at the top bleachers! If you need to go to the other side, you can either walk through the balcony or go to the end of this hallway and take the other stairs!" You felt yourself wanting to cry again, but not out of anxiety... out of pure gratefulness. You hugged him tight.</p><p>"Thank you so much! I'll make sure to cheer you on, too!" You smiled now, not noticing the rosy pink that came over him.</p><p>"Y-Yeah, no problem, my name is Hinata Shōyō, if you ever need anything!" You nodded, thanked him again, and made your way up the steps. It wasn't too difficult to spot Aoba Johsai's cheer area with the light teal that they were all wearing. You noticed your friend standing at the front already, a light worry crossing her face, but in spotting you it went away.</p><p>"Where have you been?! I found parking a while ago, and when I got here I couldn't find you anywhere!"</p><p>"Sorry, I got a little lost," as much as you wanted to hear her, your eyes were trained on the sight before you. There he was, spiking a ball, his arm tensing as he hit it with all his might. He was so beautiful in that moment; his whole will set on winning this game, "so, it started."</p><p>"Yeah, but you haven't missed much," you followed him on the court, watching how his strong legs bulged with rippling muscle the moment he jumped. He was extraordinary, truly a sight to see with those trained eyes. Nothing passed him, not even the other team's ace; spiking or not, he was amazing.</p><p>The other team called for a time out, stopping your gawking short, but the eyes that met you reminded you just what you were supposed to do there. He watched you from below, olive eyes just as beautiful and intense as they are up close. Somehow, you expected him to scowl at you for being so late, but instead, he smiled up at you: his eyes relaxing and his hand lifting for a wave. You waved back, holding on to the rails for dear life, as though you were about to fall off. You wanted to jump down and hug him, take him away from the gym and keep him close; touch his soft skin and entwine his rough, calloused fingers with your own. So many things you wanted to do with him, and yet, here you were. Stuck on the balcony, watching as he continued to carry his own.</p><p>They continued playing, though it was pretty clear who would win. With a three point lead, Aoba Johsai held match point, though even that didn't seem like enough to get rid of the tension built between both teams. You, too, felt that deep, tense feeling within you; a coil not yet ready to spring back up. This was Iwaizumi's life; what he had been working so hard to achieve all these years of high school, and to think that he wouldn't be able to do it was unacceptable. Regardless of these worries, though, he was able to do it; hand slamming the ball into the floor, eyes immediately going to your own, fist held out with a satisfied grin. You really didn't want to be such a baby, but watching him take a step towards his success was too much to handle. Your tears ran down your face freely, smiling at the relief that coursed through your body.</p><p>You ran down only a little while after, not wanting to interrupt his moment with his team, but as soon as you spotted him, you jumped into his arms. He held you there, the deep rumble of his chuckle waking you from your loving daze and making your realize how tired he must be.</p><p>"I'm sorry, I just really wanted to see you, and I forgot that you need to be in top shape to be able to play—" he squeezed your cheeks, smiling at your sputtering form, and pulled you into his chest. His soft, musky scent cooled you off, the gentle circles on the back of your neck lulling you into a deep tranquility that only he could give you. </p><p>"I got kind of worried when I looked up and I didn't see you, I thought you weren't gonna make it," you wrapped your arms around him and squeezed, wanting him closer, "but now, with you here, <b>nothing can stop me.</b>"</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i wanted to write something lighthearted bc i've been rly sucky with motivation recently, so here's this little gremlin of a chapter. i think i wanna dedicate today to writing, so expect more? don't wanna make any promises though :P</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. ushijima wakatoshi— "watch me, you bitch."</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hai! i got a lil request to do something for ushijima, so here i am to deliver!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When you joined Shiratorizawa, you really did expect it to be the most fun you'd ever have in life. A wonderful, heartfelt experience of ups and downs, filled with learning and growth so that when you graduated you could represent Japan as a wing spiker. It was all planned out; a future filled with volleyball, something you knew you'd play happily for as long as you could. Your passion, <i>your life...</i></p><p>All taken away from you with one single jump.</p><p>It was the worst fall you'd ever had, that's for sure. All you could remember was seeing the blocker's hands in front of your face and getting the breath knocked out of you. You had somehow ricocheted the ball off the blockers hand into your chest, practically pushing you to the ground with the pure force you put into the spike. That, then, made your landing awkward, and with your deep instinct to catch the ball, you pivoted your knee in a way that destroyed any type of career in a sport. The loud pop told you enough.</p><p>You had been crippled in an instant, your leg in immense pain and your heart heavy, knowing exactly what this meant. People spoke about it for a while; you had lots of potential, and yet, with a single scream, everyone knew it was over for you.</p><p>Your parents had tried to do everything they could to make you better; from surgery to expensive physical therapy, nothing could truly bring you back to how you were. Even aftet you got off your crutches, you would go in to practice, but felt lost. You knew you couldn't do anything, and yet, there you were. Hoping that a miracle would occur to magically allow you to put your hand one more time on that damn ball. It was just depressing, though, considering how your teammates looked at you; the pity in their eyes bore into ever little bit of spirit you had left, leaving you empty and ashamed of how you clinged so tightly to a sport you had no chance in succeeding in. In the single year you had been in Shiratorizawa, you had completely cut off any chance you had in ever making it. It was done.</p><p>And yet, here you are. Standing inside the boys gym, filling up water bottles and watching the Miracle Boy intently as he lifted himself off the ground to hit one of those beautiful spikes. Both of you had started school in the same year, giving Shiratorizawa a spark that they hadn't had for both of their teams in a while, but Ushijima shined so much more brightly than you ever could. Just one look at him and you could tell; he was built strong and powerful, a determination set in his eye that made even his worst enemies fear they weren't good enough. You remember the first day you looked into his powerful eyes, and how helpless you were to the allure of seeing his hand slam into that volleyball. You'd die before you would stop watching him play, and so, you became the manager for the boys volleyball team.</p><p>It wasn't like you were strangely obsessed with him, you definitely had a reason to watch him. What wasn't there to watch? He was majestic when he played, and took everything seriously no matter how weak his opponent may be; that was the one thing you appreciated, he respected his opponents enough to not hold back. It set butterflies loose in your tummy to see him in his game mode, and sent shivers down your spine each time he moved. What could you say, you were a volleyball junkie, of course you would wanna appreciate an amazing player, especially if he played the same position as you. You admired him, but only from afar, fearing that speaking to him would only confirm to you the hopelessness of your situation. He was a fun fantasy; safe and free of consequence.</p><p>"(l/n), could you read off some of the information you picked up on our next opponent, please?"</p><p>"Oh, yes!" You pulled out your list, finally coming back to your harsh reality, and spoke to the large group of boys standing around you and the coaches. It was kind of funny how close you were to most of the boys, them already knowing what had happened to you and respecting you for it, but for some reason Ushijima didn't seem interested in making any sort of connection. He was always so distant, and it was difficult to get anything out of him. No reactions, no words; nothing. He has never really addressed you personally, which sucked because you really wanted to speak to him, but at the same time you were grateful. At least you wouldn't have to deal with the reality of your life.</p><p>"Regardless of what they may have, you all know that it won't stand a chance against what you all have built over the years," the coach spoke out to the boys, as confident as ever, "we're strong, and we'll beat them regardless of what they try on us. Now, practice is over, so go rest up and be ready to go tomorrow."</p><p>The boys left to change, leaving you to pick up the balls and items. The coaches were pretty kind usually, but they didn't really stick around much after practice, usually leaving you to clean and close up. Yeah, the boys usually helped, but it was mostly you who was doing the cleaning. That is your job, after all. It seemed pretty clean today, though, so it wasn't all too bad of a clean-up; little enough that the team didn't need to stay back.</p><p>Picking up the last ball on the court, you hold it in your hands; feeling the think crevices of the stitching, and palming it how you used to. Sometimes you think that maybe if you hadn't broken so many of the recovery rules, then maybe you could have gotten better. Maybe it wasn't as serious as the doctors had initially thought, and if you had stayed away from the gym, then maybe you wouldn't be completely unable to play. It was a nice thought, but deep down, you knew. There was nothing that could be done. This is what happened, and what will haunt you for the rest of your life.</p><p>A person could dream though, right? You walked to the back line, holding the ball in front of you. The guys had already taken down the net since you couldn't exactly carry many heavy things, but you imagined that same net you would see at least twice a day. The ball felt light, returning to your hand in an instant as you bounced it thrice. Always three times, so you'd get better luck. Finally, you threw, it up, nice and high for you to hit. That was your favorite way to do a jump serve; a high toss that gave you enough time to put as much strength into your legs and arm to pummel it into the floor. You ignored the consequences of your jump, knowing it would bite you later, but not really caring. Right now, you were in a different life; an alternate universe where you were playing volleyball and setting yourself up for success.</p><p>And so, you jumped. Your body coiled in the air, an elastic ready to snap, and you hit the ball with as much force as you could into a spot at the left that would throw off any receiver the first few times. The familiar sting in your hands felt euphoric, and the release of that built-up tension could have put you to sleep with how relaxed you were now, but no. The piercing pain in your knee only reminded you of the cruelty you needed to face up to. </p><p>You fell to the ground, a scream wanting to slip out as you held on to your leg for dear life. You knew the consequences of your actions, but hey, at least you got a hit in. One success was enough for you. As you tried to push yourself off the ground, you feel a hand reach for your own; a heavy, large hand that could only belong to one person. Well, that's a surprise. You didn't think he cared enough to help you out, let alone know you existed. His hand grabbed your own, pulling you up into him (probably by accident), and wrapped around your body to help you walk. Sitting you on the bleachers, you massaged the tender muscles around your knee, wanting to get out of this situation, and yet, wanting to stay for as long as you could. Your body contradicted your mind, making you feel like you're being torn apart from accepting your situation or not.</p><p>His eyes felt like they were boring into you with how intense his gaze is, making you want to crawl away. He had that affect on you, and you disliked it. You were putty with a single touch, wanting to feel him closer; craving his confidence and wanting it for your own. Your view of him has always been positive, no matter how stoic he seemed.</p><p>"You need to give up on volleyball, you're never going to be able to play."</p><p>But he just had to ruin that, didn't he?</p><p>Your mind raced at that, feeling it like a smack to your face or a sudden burst of wind pushing you over a cliff. Instantly, you felt a bubbling anger rise within you, ferociously wanting you to express it to him. But all that could come out of your mouth in this moment was more idiotic than angry.</p><p>"... what?"</p><p>"I said that you need to stop trying to play volleyball," you frowned, finally taking in his words and engraining them into your mind, "you can't play well, so don't bother trying to do anything volleyball related. You're just wasting your time."</p><p>"<i>... what?!</i>"</p><p>"I said—"</p><p>"No no no, I don't think you understand what <i>I'm</i> saying here," his head turned slightly to the side, face still as still and stoic as ever, "what I'm trying to say here is what the fuck makes you think that you have the right to say that to me?"</p><p>His eyes widened at this, your words taking him by surprise. From what he had understood, you (according to his teammates) seemed to idolize him for his plays, but with how you spoke to him, it seemed more like he's your arch-nemesis. Suddenly, he felt small, like your presence was multiplied by one hundred; your anger and determination mixing in a fiery and dangerous way that threatened his every being. He understood now: you truly were a rose plucked from its bush. He suddenly wished he could have seen you play at least once. See you running for the ball, crushing it in the sheer force of willpower, and standing strong before your opponents. Your eyes serious and set on the prize. Your hand pulsing from the impact.</p><p>"Don't get so full of yourself just because you're good at what you do, Ushijima," you stood now, flinching at the pain you still felt vibrating throughout your right side, but poking at his chest with a scowl set on your face, "everything could be taken away from you in an instant, and you won't even be able to react before it's over. </p><p>I don't ever want to hear another word regarding my future from you, miracle boy. Just know that if it could happen to me, then it could happen to you."</p><p>You held your head high, and turned to walk out of the gym, leg still pulsing from the pressure you were putting on it. Well, so much for not needing your brace.</p><p>"You're only making it worse on yourself, you know. It'll all end the same way, you will never be able to play how you wish to."</p><p>"Oh yeah?" You turned your head to look at him, a look of desire plastered all over his face as he now stood himself. It looked as though he wanted to reach to you, bring you to him, make you understand no matter how long it'd take. As angry as you were, you were also grateful; happy that it was finally out in the open, bringing you one step closer to finally accepting. Even so, it didn't remedy the fact that he had the audacity to say that to your face so bluntly.</p><p>"<b>watch me, you bitch.</b>"</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>had this idea for the reader for a while now, just didn't rly have the character to do it with! then i remembered ushijima and was like, "ah shit, here we go again."</p><p>i'll write something more fluffy soon, just wanted to get this idea out!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. azumane asahi— "just a little ladybug."</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>asahi is too soft to write anything sad abt him :') such a lovely dude</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It had been a while since you'd seen him, considering you two were studying completely different things. While he was off in Tokyo studying design, you had stayed back to study medicine. Considering this, both of you are extremely busy and hardly have any time to even see each other; most days, you'd come home around ten and send a quick 'good night' before passing out on your bed or falling asleep to a movie.</p><p>This time, though, you wanted it to be different. Asahi had told you that he wouldn't be able to come to Miyagi for the holidays because of the school work he still had to finish up, meaning he wouldn't be able to visit his family either. </p><p>"Are you sure you really can't come? Your parents were telling me that family from another town were gonna come, and that they were going to do a nice celebration for the next few days," you could practically see the shiver that went down his spine, knowing well that relatives only meant he would be bombarded with children who would bully him for being so weak, "you'll have to get your mom something nice if you don't come."</p><p>"Yeah yeah, I know," he sighed, seemingly guilty over the whole situation, "I'm just in a tough situation right now with my final project, so it's better for me to stay behind and do some extra research. I really wanna go, though, so I can ask your parents— um, something."</p><p>"Ask them something," you heard him take in a shaky breath, "well, I guess since my mom owns a boutique she would probably give you some good information about what the industry is like now. But wouldn't you be able to do that from there? You do have her phone number, don't you?"</p><p>"Y-Yeah, that's right! Hah, silly question," he was probably in the kitchen considering the light tap of a cup on a table, "but most of all, I was hoping to see you. It's been a while since I've gotten to hold you, let alone touch you."</p><p>"Okay Mr. Creepy, I get it, I'm irresistible," he gulped loudly, stuttering an apology as he tried to think of a way to get himself out of this situation, "but hey, you're equally as irresistible. I really wanna see you, too. I want to cook you some burnt pasta, and braid your hair like I used to... I wonder whether you've changed your style since I last saw you, or if you've become someone new."</p><p>"I don't think I've changed too dramatically, I only ever wear sweaters with some pants." You giggled, loving how he thought of his response after, wondering whether that was sufficient to answer your question. He was always so cautious around you no matter how much you've both known each other, but that just showed you how much he respected you. He wants to make sure that he's the best person he can be for you, and so, you hoped that you were worthy of being his girlfriend.</p><p>"No, you definitely haven't changed," you went to your bed, dropping yourself onto the soft cushion and letting out a long breath, when suddenly, the best idea came to mind, "hey, wait, if you're gonna be all alone, then maybe I can go to Tokyo and visit you for my break! That way even though we aren't with our family, we can still be together in some way! What do you say, Asahi?"</p><p>"R-Really? Are you okay with that? I don't wanna take you away from your family like that—"</p><p>"They'll understand! I'm ditching them for you, anyways, so they'll be more than happy to not have me around! Besides, since I brought them all a rock as a souvenir from my day-trip to Iwate they haven't really wanted me home."</p><p>"Well, then, okay," you heard him stand up, shuffling around his apartment and looking for what was probably his planner. He was so organized, "when do you plan on coming?"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Now, here you were; on a train set for Tokyo. You had made sure to pack some of your Dad's cookies (he was the chef in the house) that he made just for the big teddy bear, telling you not to eat so many or you would ruin his present and be disowned. How nice.</p><p>You ran your hands through your hair, reaching around to the small pendant hanging from your necklace. Asahi had given you this necklace for your birthday, the bright, green emerald supposedly symbolizing love and eternity: prosperity and wisdom for the future. He had told you that it was the first and last thing he looked at in the jewelry store, and that he was so captivated by it that he knew it meant something. He was sure that you were meant to have it, and that it was something more than just a rock. Of course, it being a present from Asahi was enough to make you want to accept it, no matter what it could be. And yet, with the way that he put it around your neck and caressed your cheek that night, it meant the world to you. He was so gentle with you that night, and made you know how much he truly loved you; an evening full of passion and delicacy that would be the most beautiful moment in your life.</p><p>He was so detailed with everything he did, only making you crave his presence more every day. You wished you would have studied in Tokyo, constantly wanting to go back in time to change your decision. He was lovely, after all, so who could blame you for wanting more of him. It made you sad to think that you weren't able to see his excited face when he would talk about his first day in school, or the smile on his lips when he would find his new favorite coffee shop. The satisfaction in his body at seeing his apartment being completed, and the relaxation of being able to sleep without a care in the world; those precious moments you weren't able to spend with him would be the only regrets in your life.</p><p>Well, no use thinking about the past now, right? Life doesn't freeze in time, so who knows what'll come? Maybe you two would move in soon, or even, if you dared think, get married. It has been a while since you two got together, even if it was in high school, so maybe you two would decide to take that step towards an eternity together.</p><p>Or maybe, you guys would end. He could be absolutely tired of you, considering how you tease him all the time. Tokyo is a large city, so you wouldn't blame him if he found someone new he wants to spend his eternity with, and you definitely wouldn't blame someone for wanting to have him to themselves. He was just that type of guy you can't get enough of; the type of man that you write home about, speaking lovely things about him no matter how mad you may be at him (if you even could get angry at the dude).</p><p>Ugh, maybe you should take a nap. You know that's not how he feels, but still, it was terrifying to think you could lose him. You gripped your bag tight, closing your eyes, and taking a deep breath in to cool your nerves. You guys had been together long enough to not care if one of you was taking a shit and the other was getting ready for bed, so why were you so nervous? It was probably the desperate feeling of not wanting to lose him, but there was no need to think like that now. There isn't any lions, so calm down.</p><p>Easier said than done.</p><p>You felt your phone vibrate in your pocket, immediately pulling it out and looking at the screen.</p><p>
  <b>Ass-ahi</b>
</p><p>
  <i>I know you should be getting here by two, but for some reason i feel like there's something wrong. You okay?</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I'm at the train station, so expect me to squeeze you to death when i see you :)</i>
</p><p>You smiled, feeling a warmth overcome you. It had gotten pretty cold, so you were glad to have him check up on you like this. He was always so caring, it made you happy to know he could sense your discomfort from so far away. Well, you guys weren't so far anymore, considering you were about twenty minutes away. Even so, it felt like forever in such a stupid way. You were so greedy, honestly, that sometimes you questioned why Asahi liked you so much. You wanted him to yourself, and wouldn't take no for an answer. He was too good to let go, could anyone blame you for wanting to be near him all the time?</p><p>
  <b>ladybug</b>
</p><p>
  <i>feeling a little weird, but maybe it's the milk i drank before leaving. might've been expired, so who knows!</i>
</p><p>
  <i>i'm rly happy that i can be with you. i love you so ducking much you stinky head! •3•</i>
</p><p>
  <i>duck, auto correct, i meant to say ducking*</i>
</p><p>
  <i>FUCK</i>
</p><p>He laughed, getting weird glances from people around him as a result. People used to be so weirded out by the fact that you two were together, mostly because of how brutally honest you were about everything. You didn't hold back, and as a result, people often thought that you were a bad kid; a delinquent of some sort, simply going with the flow without care.</p><p>At first, he admired you; you were so strong and confident in everything you did, so he wanted to be more like you. Nishinoya always made fun of him for not knowing how to start a conversation with you since he was so easily able to talk to you. It was like both of you were made for each other, at first, and he was conflicted with himself. He didn't understand why he couldn't just be happy for you and his friend, and it frustrated him to not know the answer to his, seemingly, everlasting indecisiveness. Finally, Sugawara knocked some sense into him and basically laid everything out for him to get, encouraging him to actually speak to you for once instead of running away like some "shy, anime schoolgirl" (nickname made by you, not him). </p><p>He got to know you some more after that, feeling proud that he's able to actually speak words instead of the jumble that would come out when he would see you. He's grateful he had the courage to do so, feeling accomplished at finally getting to know you in the way that he's always wanted to. You were so tough on the outside, but had worries like everyone else. You feared that you weren't good enough for your family, or that you wouldn't live up to the expectations of others if you opened up like you had to him. To him, it was a reminder that everyone always has weaknesses, and more affirmation that he wanted to spend as much time as you would grant him with you. </p><p>"Asahiii! I'm here!" You jumped out of the train, running at full speed towards his unexpecting body. You slammed into him, dropping your bag and suitcase as you tackled him to the floor, your hands wrapped tight around his giant body. He hugged you back, smelling the sweet, honey scent of your hair, feeling the familiar warmth of your body against his chest. That strong exterior pushed its way to the top, but that gentle interior floated its way along the path. You were so unique in every way possible, giving him strength to keep on going no matter how scary it may be, and yet—<br/>
"I missed you so much, you teddy," he felt the light wetness against his neck, a sniffle coming from you, "so, so much."</p><p>You were <b>just a little ladybug</b> to him.</p><p>"I missed you too, more than you could imagine."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>okay, let's see where my brain takes me rn! i've been having lots of ideas recently, so i'm feeling pretty good about updates!</p><p>y'all should ask me some questions or drop your favorite/current or last anime you watched cuz i rly wanna interact with you guys! you guys are all cool in my book, so of course i would wanna know more about you!</p><p>okay, have a nice day!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. yamaguchi tadashi— "my summer daydream."</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this is horribly late, and i'm very sorry about that :'( i started working, so i've been a bit busy! i want to keep writing this, though, so i'll try and update as much as possible!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Something about the orange haze of the sky made him remember all the sweet and tender times he spent with you.</p><p>The way your eyes glimmered like a thousand stars under the hot sun, and how ethereal you were as you rose from underneath the water gave him a feeling of blessedness. He was graced with the presence of a god/dess; instantly surrounded by a warmth that not even the summer heat could compete with. Rather than being absolutely suffocating, this heat was cozy and allowed him to be comforted in a way he had never felt before. </p><p>For so long, he had been teased for being a gentle person; his whole person rejected by his own sex, seen as different for being too soft or too happy. It was drilled into his mind that his path was not the right one, and that in order to be normal he had to be in the light of Adam; a "man"... But to you, he was perfect.</p><p>He had scored a summer job as a swimming instructor for younger kids; teaching them the wonders of floating in a pool for fifteen minutes on some boards while getting paid one hundred per week. Not a terrible career choice for a high school kid. His choices were limited considering his constant volleyball training and summer homework he still had to do, but hey, money makes the world go round and he definitely didn't want to have to be that one dude who couldn't at least chip in five dollars for some pork buns after practice. This was fine by him; besides, he was actually pretty excited to start. He liked being around kids, at least <b>they</b> didn't pick on him all the time. </p><p>It was when he had arrived at the local pool that he saw you. Your hair was slicked back from the water, and your skin looked soft and sun kissed. You were already with some of the early arrivers for the swimming classes, splashing around as you waited for the others to arrive; now realizing that you were also waiting for him. When you finally turned to him, he was amazed with how stunning someone could be. Your thick lashes were coated in droplets, making you glimmer in a way that only a celestial being would do so. Even the children seemed to be captivated in your loving aura; not batting an eye at the fact that he was finally there.</p><p>As distracted as everyone seemed to be, you were focused solely on him. You got out of the water and walked to him; Yamaguchi still standing as though he were a cardboard cutout.</p><p>"Hi there, what's your name?"</p><p>"M-Me? I'm Yamaguchi, uh, but you can call me Tadashi... if you want?"<br/>
You laughed at this, glowing with purity that only you could have.</p><p>"Alright then, Tadashi," you took his hand in yours, pulling him slightly forward in order to get him moving, "shall we?"</p><p>The moment you said that he realized how out of his league you were; the way your smile made his stomach flip was proof enough that he was not worthy of your attention. With that in his mind, he was able to relax; feeling the pressure of your intensity retire as he set in to be the best side character he could.</p><p>That day went smoothly; him not skipping a beat at any of the requests you made him, and rejoicing whenever you smiled at him. Yeah, he wasn't going to have a chance with you, but he could enjoy the little things. The way your hand grazed his when passing the pool noodles, and, better yet, when you two would give examples for the different methods to swim are just a few of the best things about working with you. You weren't disappointed in him; rather, you made an effort to thank him and appreciate him, which, to him, only made things harder to accept. He was used to people not finding an interest in him, and ignoring him to go with others. Understanding their disinterest, he was okay with people leaving him, but you didn't even make an attempt at escaping.</p><p>How sweet.</p><p>It wasn't until the second week that you changed. Not for the worst, no: you were becoming closer. Suddenly, a floodgate of intimacy grew as though out of thin air; you two connected in such a way that was insane to Yamaguchi, considering his own perception of himself. He wasn't worthy of all the attention you were giving him, especially the time alone.</p><p>Yes, he could now confidently say that he's been alone with a girl. If he phrased it like that, then maybe people would think he was cooler than he actually was because, in actuality, it was far from the innuendo being insinuated. He was only listening as you spoke to him about your fun weekend plans as you two walked to the train station, waiting to get on your separate trains. It was fun, though, because it was as though a light awakened in you with every word you spoke; iridescent bubbles coming from you as you spoke fondly of the people close to you and the people you loved. </p><p>"You know, I'm really happy to have met you this summer," this took him aback, not expecting you to be so earnest, "you're such a cool guy, and I hope your life is filled with beautiful moments, Tadashi."</p><p>"Oh... well, thank you for that. I-I hope you life a beautiful life, too."</p><p>He wouldn't always contribute, and yet, he was okay with it. Just listening to your kind regards was enough to fill him to the brim with happiness. He didn't want things to change; just being here with you, walking through the humid streets of Miyagi, was enough for him to feel accomplished.</p><p>Even so, life continues forward, and it's bound to be different, if even by a little. After two more weeks, your conversations became deeper, and more profound in the sense that they were full of emotions and worries. Your talks went from simple small talk as you made your way home to full-on conversations that took place in parks or cafés; no way could what you two spoke about be summarized enough to fit in to a ten minute walk to the station. Your heart was opening up to him, and he was grateful for it. Happy that you chose him to be the one to hear you out</p><p>What he noticed from you was how much pressure was always on your shoulders as you went about everything; you made sure to never bash them angrily, but a lot of what you spoke about that damaged you was your parents.</p><p>"Ever since the divorce a few months ago, my mom has been so adamant about me studying and being the picture perfect daughter because, well, she's the one taking care of me now," you ran your hand through your slightly damp hair, taking a sip of your iced tea, "and then when I visit my dad he always tries to pry some information about my mom. It's a never-ending cycle with them, and I don't know what to do anymore... I know they mean well and they're dealing with it in their own ways, but I just can't handle it sometimes, and I end up breaking down about it.</p><p>Jeez, listen to me rambling about all of this. I'm sorry Tadashi, I just get a little frustrated with life..."</p><p>"No, don't apologize! I get it... I really do. People deal with things in different ways, but even so, it's important that they understand that their actions can have an effect on their loved ones. I think that you are being really strong and mature about the whole situation, and I'm glad that you have kept a steady mind through it. You're really amazing, (f/n), and you'll get out of this mess in one piece," he couldn't look you in the eyes as he said this, so he just looked down at his matcha latte,</p><p>"It's gonna take some time, but either way, they'll have to know that what they're doing is not helping their situation in any way... Just know that I'm here for you if you need me, any time of the day or night."</p><p>Looking up, he was surprised to see your reaction. Your eyes were teared up, lip trembling as you held in the sob that so desperately wanted to come out. He didn't know what to do, so he just grabbed some of his money (probably more than he should have put down), and took your arm in his, walking you out. You held on to his arm, holding the side of his shirt in one hand as though you didn't want to get lost, and kept your head low as he led you to a nearby bench. Wrapping an arm around your shoulders, he sat you down gently, making sure that you weren't uncomfortable with his touch. </p><p>After a few minutes of sitting and lightly rubbing your shoulder did he even dare speak, feeling guilty, somehow, for your tears.</p><p>"... Was it something I said? I'm sorry if I upset you, I didn't mean to intrude, I just wanted to make you feel—"</p><p>He couldn't even process what you were doing. Your hands reached for his face, holding it tenderly, like he <b>mattered</b>, and brought him in to you. It all went in slow motion for him; the proximity between you two closing, and the beat of his heart encompassing his whole being. He only came back to earth once your lips touched his, feeling the sweetest high he'd ever feel. Your lips were honeysuckle on a cool, August night; hypnotizing him with the sweet, addictive taste that touched his tongue.</p><p>Now... he was definitely not experienced in this department, and yet, with you, he felt a surge of confidence as he, too, reached for your face and brought you in deeper. He was going with the flow, trying his best to match you movement by movement. He found his hands trailing down to your waist, pulling you closer as the sun coated the sky with a deep mix of purple and orange, bringing the heat down quickly. </p><p>As you two disconnected, he couldn't help but lick his lips, wanting proof that this interaction was real. And it was; the light taste of your cherry chapstick and sweet iced tea will forever be engrained in his mind, and the look on your face would be plastered in every crevice of his mind. The way you looked up at him with longful, loving eyes could have warmed him up for an eternity if it weren't for the fact that you had abruptly gotten up, looking up at the pretty sunset, and sighing. He still didn't know how to react, or even, what to say. He was speechless; having never felt something so intimate as this before; what was someone supposed to do after having their first kiss?</p><p>You, on the other hand, turned around quickly, watching him for a few seconds with a happy smile on your face, suddenly reaching out your hand to him,</p><p>"Well, Tadashi? Shall we?"</p><p> </p><p>After that, things seemed to go back to normal. He didn't dare ask for a label in fear of ruining what you two had. You would walk to the train station hand in hand, and stop by some stores sometimes before leaving with, sometimes, a small peck on the lips.</p><p>And now... he looks back at it with a smile on his face, feeling blessed to have met you. To have been a part of your life, and a part of your heart.</p><p>Somehow, he had forgotten to get your phone number, and, even worse, he had forgotten to ask what school you go to. All he knew was that you would head in the opposite direction of him, but that didn't help him much considering the possibilities of your situation. Either way, he was happy, and now, looking up at the light shade of purple painted on the clouds, he breathed in deep, letting it out just as quickly as you had.</p><p>"Are you meditating or something?" Hinata walked in front of him, tilting his head at the giggle he let out.</p><p>"No, just thinking about <b>my summer daydream.</b>"</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>thanks for sticking around! i really appreciate the fact that people are interested in reading what i write, and i want you all to know that i love each and every one of you! it makes me happy to read such sweet comments, and i hope to keep making you all happy with improved work! </p><p>again, thanks! '3' wuv u</p><p>NEXT UP: kags the grouch (well, hopefully)</p>
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<a name="section0016"><h2>16. suna rintarō— "strawberry lips."</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>it's that time of night where i am a suna rintarou simp.</p><p> </p><p>girls with strawberry chap stick/lipgloss are so hot, uuuuugh</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>t.w.; kidnapping/human trafficking situation (v sorry about that, but it's only for the intro! you can still read the rest, i'll leave a * just for you :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He had first met you down by the corner where the 7-Eleven and the Krispy Kreme are; it was 2am and he was craving some of those powdered donut holes, so of course he'd make his way into the shady convenience store. He walked through the aisles, hands in his pockets and eyes semi-bloodshot. Maybe he'd get some gummy worms too, or some strawberry milk. He wasn't the type to like sweets, but damn could he go for some of those Trolli shits—</p><p>"Sorry, but I can't help you miss. You need to leave the store before I call the cops."</p><p>"Please! Call the cops, I don't want to go out there!"</p><p>"Listen, my shift is almost over. I don't wanna have to stick around this shithole any longer than I have to, so just get out."</p><p>He paid no attention to the conversation at first, just thinking that it was some crackhead trying to get some cigarettes or something. It was 2am, what do you expect? Grabbing his stuff, he walked up to the cashier and took out some cash to pay. While getting scanned, he took a glance at your distraught form; your eyes were red and teary, and you looked like you were about to break down again. He noticed how your hands trembled, and how your eyes kept looking to the door in fear; either you were on some serious drugs, or there was something terrible waiting for your outside. Regardless, he didn't know if he could leave there without doing anything.</p><p>"Hey, are you okay?" You looked at him in that moment; shiny, pretty eyes looking up at his taller form. You seemed grateful to him even though he hadn't done anything, like him noticing you was enough to rid you of any worry present.</p><p>But just as quickly as you seemed better, you had that worried look plastered on your face, your eyes looking back at the door once more in terror.</p><p>"Could you please help me? There's this guy that's been following me around," you looked down, fidgeting with your hands, "I was leaving my friend's house when the guy started talking to me, and he's been tracking me down since. I walked in here to escape him, but I don't know if he's gone yet."</p><p>He felt his high ware off a bit, looking at you with concern. If there really was some guy outside, then he couldn't just leave you hanging like this. Sure, was this a hassle? Yeah. Could he potentially get stabbed and killed? Probably, but at least it'd be for a cute girl who needed help.</p><p>All jokes aside, he wanted to help you in any way he could, and if that meant walking you to your house, then he would do just that.</p><p>The gummy worms could wait, anyway.</p><p>"That'll be $6.94, will you be paying in cash or card?" He gave the money to the cashier, looking back at your hopeful eyes.</p><p>"Follow me and act like you know me, alright?" You smiled at him; a thankful, teary smile as you let a teardrop fall down your cheek. All he could do was look away, feeling awkward and out of place. This was so not like him, but alas, he got into this situation. Now he goes through with it.</p><p>Grabbing his bag, he reached out to you; his hand open for you to grab. You took it immediately, wrapping your fingers around his, and squeezing lightly. He squeezed back, feeling your tension lighten a bit, and walked towards the door. He felt you move closer to him, gripping his arm now as you walked out the door, looking straight forward in hopes of ignoring that weird dude you were afraid of. He looked to his side, seeing some dude leaning against the wall and looking straight at you guys in a grimace, probably sulking at the fact that he was coming out with you.</p><p>When you finally crossed the street, you gasped as though you had been holding your breath that whole time.</p><p>********************* psst, you're safe to ready :)</p><p>"Shit, that was scary as fuck." He was surprised at your use of words, but didn't mind at all. You started to relax a bit, shaking yourself off a bit and finally deciding to let go of his hand. Well, he enjoyed it while it lasted; at least he could say that he touched a girl this weekend when he saw 'Sumu at practice on Monday. Aha ha.</p><p>He reached into his bag, taking out the bag of gummy worms and ripping it open.</p><p>"Want some?" You looked over, smiling wide and nodding your head. At this point, he didn't know where you two were heading; he just knew that he didn't really feel too bothered by your presence. Neither of you had said much since you left that 7-Eleven, but it wasn't weird or anything; it was peaceful. He might have just met you, but he already felt like you two had bonded for at least a year or two's worth. To be fair, it was a stressful and terrifying experience for the both of you, so of course it would make some type of bond.</p><p>Your voice shifted him away from his thoughts; a cool, silk voice that made him shiver from how fuzzy it made him feel. Yes, you're fuzzy; that's the only way to describe the way you made him feel.</p><p>"You know, these worms taste sooo good when you're high," his eyes widened slightly, taken aback at by your blunt admittance, "I usually get some sort of sour gummy and taco bell. Those locos tacos hit different."</p><p>"I got weed and some time, you wanna go smoke somewhere?" Your eyes widened, a smile creeping its way up your face as you nodded for the second time tonight.</p><p>"Can we stop at taco bell though?"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Dude, no way," you blew out a cloud of smoke, looking up at the sunrise with a peaceful gaze, "how does he get bitches when he sounds so childish? It's always the weirdest people, I swear."</p><p>"I know right? I can't bash him though, he's smooth when he needs to be," you let out a chuckle through your grin, leaning back and still looking up at the sky. Your eyes were hooded; you looked too hot for your own good with that blunt in your hand, making his heart all wobbly and shit. He took a bite of his crunchy taco, feeling so content with the moment that all he could do was grin, too. Maybe it was fate that brought him to that 7-Eleven; that brought him your scared form, and took him all the way to this little creek you two had stumbled upon. He looked at you straight on; took in the way your hair waved in all the right places, how your lips curved ever so slightly to give you a slight smirk.</p><p>Admiration couldn't begin to describe what he felt for you. Probably the weed talking, but he wanted to be with you for the rest of his life. He didn't even know your name, but that didn't matter because he—</p><p>Wait. What <i>was</i> your name?</p><p>Was it okay to ask? He couldn't remember if he had given you his, or if you had asked at all. What if this was some one-time thing? Like, maybe you didn't want to know his name because this was just gonna be a moment you could reminisce about when you're old and bored? He didn't want this to be some random moment he cherishes; he wants to <span class="u">know</span> you and be with you; romantic or not, he just wanted to be in your presence.</p><p>He didn't notice that you had gotten up until you started putting your trash in the taco bell bag, cleaning up the teeny bits of debris in hopes of not littering in any way possible. How could it get any better than this?</p><p>Okay, no, focus: he needed to get your number or something. He couldn't let you get out of his grasp this easily, not when he felt so close to you already.</p><p>Before you walked away, he reached for your hand, gripping at your fingers in the way you had done to him earlier, wanting you to stay. You looked at him with a smile; not afraid at all at his persistence as you turned around to look at him.</p><p>"Shit, how do I say this," he looked around, thinking of what to say. His body reacted before he could think of anything to say, "um, well, do you think I could get your number? Asking for a friend."</p><p>
  <i>What kind of—</i>
</p><p>You laughed, your voice jingling and as you threw your head back the slightest bit. The sun was fully out at this point, lighting up your entrancing eyes.</p><p>"Sure," you ripped off a piece of the taco bell bag, reaching in your purse only to pull out a lipstick tube. Why there's lipstick randomly in your bag? You couldn't say, but it really made Suna feel like a beta in your presence, "tell your friend I'm down to hang out as long as we can get to know each other some more."</p><p>You gave him the piece of paper bag, making sure you hadn't left anything behind. He was about to let you go when he remembered he hadn't even done what he was meaning to do.</p><p>"Wait, what's your name?" You looked behind yourself, a sweet smile on your face as you looked him in the eyes. You were such an anomaly; how could you be so hot and cute at the same time?</p><p>"Wouldn't you like to know?" You started walking away, "ask me next time!"</p><p>You disappeared out of his sight; he could already imagine your <b>strawberry lips</b> against his as you two shared your deepest secrets over some gummy worms. He could taste the sweetness on the tip of his tongue; tantalizing and as addictive as the high he shared with you.</p><p>He couldn't wait to find out your name.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>okay... i've been gone for a while, haven't i?</p><p>sorry about that, i've been doing college apps and scholarship stuff so I haven't had the time to really write. doesn't help that i have a full schedule, so like'' time off? where?</p><p>i just discovered "karma police" by radiohead and i'm so sad i didn't find it sooner:((( it feeds my god complex, honestly.</p><p> </p><p>i'll be back with more! feeling some sakusa vibes rn, so might just write sum bout that. or atsumuuuuuu</p>
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